Everyone has a past, that is very real, and cannot be changed. What can be changed, is the rest of our life, and you can do this by accepting what once was. Everyone has situations and events that they regret over the years, but you can not let them define you. You are not your past. Your past happened to help you become a better, stronger person from the lessons it teaches. Your past makes you who you are by teaching you how to handle the tough things life throws at you, but it does not take you out, it does not define you as a person.
Each and every day you are learning, growing, and becoming a better person because of your past. You should never be judged for your past, and if someone does, get them out of your life fast.
You could be the only one holding you back.
There are definitely people who do only look at who a person was and not who they are now. With full transparency, I used to think that it was not possible for a person to be able to change from who they once were. I would hold onto grudges and a person’s past actions or how they used to treat me, and I did not believe that they could grow, change and come out a very different person through the process.
That was until I went through a stage in life (they weren’t joking with the ‘finding yourself in college’ stuff) where I had a laundry list of changing moments (aka breakdowns), struggles, pain, and healing where I not only learned what it feels like to change as a person, but what it was like from the other POV. I understood what it feels like to have your life take a 360, to feel like a whole new person, to realize things (2016 Kylie Jenner might have been on to something y’all).
We are the way we are for a reason; we might not know everyone’s reason. Remember, too, the person who may be judging you for your past could very well be yourself.
A great future doesn’t require a great past.
Cheers to 2020!
HCXO