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Sex + Relationships

Say Bi-Bi To Strict Labels: Cutting Ties With The Pressure of Self Identification

Your first crush typically happens around elementary school. You both may share legos or fish crackers and in that moment, butterflies erupt in your stomach. Notice how I didn’t mention the genders in this scenario because during that time, it was not about gender. As children, we do not see color, gender or sexuality. Instead, we see two eyes, a nose and a head full of hair.

As we age, we learn what excites us and what we can become emotionally drawn to. The fun thing about aging too is our interests change and expand.

I already came out…do I have to do it again?

Coming out to your family and friends can be a scary but also gratifying event. You are sharing a piece of you that has been kept tight to your heart and are finally releasing it. I came out to my family as bisexual through a song called “I’m Bisexual” by Dodie. I sent it to all my family and friends that I trusted and sat patiently by the phone waiting for their responses. My heart was racing and once I saw that they had read it, I feared the worst.

I was very lucky to have the support that everyone should receive and it felt like a giant weight had been lifted.

As time has gone on, I find myself questioning if I am still bisexual. Sure, I still love the beauty in both men and women but I also see the beauty in those that identify as non-binary and those that have transitioned as well. I have questioned for a while if I needed to come out again or let everyone know that my interests had expanded. Then I realized, it was really none of their fu***** business.

So to sum up the question, no you do not need to come out again if you do not want to.

waving your own flag

Moving forward, if there is one small tiny piece of advice I could send you off with, it would be to wave whatever flag you feel resonates with you. If there are multiple, great. If there is one, perfect. The ones that match you now, may change in a few years or they will remain the same for twenty-plus years.

Regardless, you shouldn’t have to explain your sexuality in depth to anyone if you don’t wish to.

I’m your ally

If you are struggling and feel like no one is on your shoulder, I’ll be that one for you. You belong, and I hope that you choose to love who you wish without the feeling of labels locking you in.

I love you bestie.

xoxo HerCampusCWU

Creative and Professional Writing Aspiring author and publisher Gemini Slytherin house
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