I truly believe it when people say you don’t get to pick who you fall in love with my whole life growing up I told myself that I would never date anyone in the military, and well here I am in a happy, loving relationship with a man in the Navy. He is one of the best things to ever happen to me, however, it’s not always so easy though. I have had to learn how to deal with the fact that I won’t get to see him every day or even every week. Patience was one of the biggest things for me I had to learn, that he will text me back when he can. So, for anyone out there thinking about starting a relationship with someone in the military or just started one and needs some tips, I’m here to help!
They’re Not Ignoring You
One thing about being in the military is that you don’t get to have your phone on you all the time or allowed to use it whenever you want. It’s not that they don’t want to talk to you it’s that they can’t. So, when you texted them five hours ago and they still haven’t texted you back, they’re probably busy working. You have to allow yourself to have patience and not think that they are ignoring you.
I Would but I Can’t
Many times, your partner in the military will have things that they can’t tell you. And you must respect that. Just like you can’t tell other people certain things about your partner like their location, flight dates, or other information specific to them they can’t tell you everything. It’s a security risk, just like any branch of the military. So, trust that if they are not telling you something, it’s not to hide something from you but that it’s their job.
They’re Not the Only One Seeing It
When sending mail, packages, or anything else just know that they might not be the only ones who see it. Ask them if mail gets screened before you send it out. So, if you are sending out any care packages make sure you don’t care who sees it.
Communication is Key
As much as communication may be difficult at times with not being able to talk all the time it is important to address issues first when they arise. The best way is to talk about the issues openly and try to agree. Being in a long-distance relationship is hard enough don’t make it worse with a lack of communication.
You Got This!
Always, always, always encourage them. Giving them that support and knowing that you are there is one of the best things you can do. It’s not always going to be easy for them and sometimes they need to make a big decision and they will need your support on what they chose.
Bright Things Are Ahead of You
Lastly, keep your eye on the future. Remember that things aren’t always going to be like this. You won’t always be apart. Not always able to talk to each other. Remind them of what they are doing for both of your futures and your futures together. Trust me, it will all be worth it.
If you or your SO is in the military, just remember you are not alone and you are going to get through this! There will always be good days and bad and it is important to find a support system of friends, family, and people who understand.
HCXO