It’s a new chapter in your life, things at school are panning out great, and you think you have it all figured out… yet the stress from roommates is killing your vibe. Well you’re not alone. There is yet to be a perfect guide showing how to get along with random strangers, and to be honest some people are just too stubborn to put in the effort. So if you find yourself caught in the middle of a fight or just wanting to get out of that house, here are some things to consider.
Moving in is an exciting/emotional time for everyone, and if you’re lucky the people you live with want to do things together. YAY FOR FRIENDS! Stressing about meeting new people can easily be solved by doing things with your house mates (who doesn’t want a BFF across the hall?) But like any relationship the honeymoon phase only lasts for so long. We get in our own routine, meet other people, and start to understand how the other person works. Best case scenario everyone does their own thing, understand personal boundaries and don’t get rubbed the wrong way over a disagreement. But hey, the world isn’t perfect… so of course we’re faced with issues.
If your roommate(s) wants to hang out all the time and you just can’t seem to get them to leave you alone without being flat out rude, don’t forget that at the end of the day you need to take care of yourself. Find reasons to get out of the house, get involved in clubs, or make friends with people in class. Get in the habit of staying on campus to study. Keeping busy can inadvertently show that you have a lot to do in the day, so when you do make time for your roomies they know you’re there for them.
If you’re the complete opposite and you like to spend quiet time at home/studying. Make a point of talking to your roomies when they are around… it’s as simple as spending some time with them and then saying something along the lines of “babe I love you but I’m ready for my study time.”
We are all great at being passive aggressive. Don’t lie… We all do it. And when you live in a house with multiple people, you might end up in some sticky situations. It’s not fair, but it happens, so don’t lose sleep over a disagreement. When it comes to putting someone in the middle to solve a problem, do whatever you’re comfortable with. If you had enough and don’t want to get involved, there’s no issue in telling them “I understand you’re both upset, but this is between the both of you.” You can even take it to “As long as the rent is in on time and we abide by the rules set out, I don’t care what you choose to do with your time.” Sometimes the truth needs to be set straight, and we are the only advocates for our happiness.
Kitchen, bathroom, family room, whatever… people are messy. It doesn’t change the fact that it needs to be done, but when you go to school, have a job, or just don’t feel like cleaning, things add up. An easy way to distribute chores without nagging on each other is to place tally charts in each room. Put notecards with everyone’s name on them above light switches and in the kitchen with a pen attached. When you clean put a tally. Take out the garbage, put a tally. Over time everyone will know when they haven’t been helping out… It’ll be easy to see. Everyone cleans, everyone does their part, and the best part is you won’t find yourself in an awkward conversation over a messy bathroom.