Bi Erasure on Social Media

Social media has done wonders for the LGBTQIA+ community in recent years, allowing people within this community to connect and find comfort in identity that society has largely rejected and bringing awareness to why LGBTQIA+ rights are important and necessary, but with this amazing tool has come an issue I feel closely connected to. Bisexuality is the label I feel comfortable using - I am lucky and I never felt the need to really come out or feel fear of rejection by those close to me. It was just something I casually mentioned in conversation and was never questioned, which I know isn’t the case for all, but where I found this judgment was the same social media platforms I thought would be my greatest tool in finding true comfort in my sexuality.

hand holding cell phone with social media apps open Photo by Tracy Le Blanc from Pexels To be bisexual is to be attracted to two OR MORE genders; this includes male, female, nonbinary, and transfolx. Bisexuality has never excluded non-cis/gender non-conforming people, nor has it ever represented someone who was just confused about their sexuality, but lately my feeds have been flooded by people from the gay community saying bisexuals are just women who want attention or men who are secretly gay (which in itself leaves out the many nonbinary people who also are bisexual) and invalidating those who are in ‘straight’ relationships by saying that once you’re in a same-sex relationship, you aren’t welcome in the community.

This movement of antibi media has brought harmful identities such as pan/bi lesbian or straight lesbian, all of which invalidate both bisexuals and lesbians, and puts anyone who identifies as bisexual’s preferences under a microscope to determine if they’re ‘gay enough.’ This has made me hyper analyze my sexuality - am I gay enough to be in this community? Do my relationships with men mean I’m no longer queer? Is my sexuality a lie? Do I really find nonmale presenting people attractive or am I faking it for attention? I’ve had enough. Your identity is not something for anyone to speculate - especially those parts of the same community you seek solace in.

I am proud to be bisexual, and a relationship with the opposite sex doesn’t change that nor does a stranger on the internet deciding that bisexuality isn’t real. To all my bisexual friends, of all genders, who feel the pressure to prove you deserve a place in the LGBTQIA+ community, no matter your preferences or experiences thus far you are valid, you are important and you are loved and I hope you find a place where you feel safe.