The “two year rut” is a phrase that I thought of when talking about that awkward phase in every relationship when the “honeymoon phase” dies down and things start getting real, and you both realize that you have some decisions to make. It’s the time in your relationship where you don’t have any walls or barriers up anymore, but you have hit a rough patch. Its time to decide if you want to work through this “rough patches” see if you have a fighting chance of being together, or if you need to part ways.
After two years you really know one another, from bad habits to the fighting techniques your partner always does, you probably know your significant other inside and out.
It’s a strange part of your relationship because you know each other so well that you start to settle. You get so comfortable with one another that you tend to stop working hard to make the relationship work. People just assume things will work themselves out, but that’s what can get you stuck in the rut in the first place.
After two years, you kind of stop trying to impress one another which can lead to fights because you both think each other is bored in the relationship, but you loved each other too much to let go. That’s when you realize that you have “stopped” trying. No, I don’t mean stop caring or loving each other, I simply mean stop trying to move forward.
You stop having intimate moments with one another, you stopped going out together, you aren’t as drawn to one another, you stopped going on dates… but you sleep together at night so you can’t tell if you’re just being dramatic. t Thins feels frozen in your relationship, you aren’t “moving forward.”
You hit a point that forces you to decide: Do you want keep on fighting for each other or leave it all behind.
Then you fight, you cry, you talk things out because you love each other. If you don’t/can’t communicate to figure out what your partner needs out of the relationship, the two of you will not move forward. It’s important to have conversations with each other when you notice things aren’t going very well, because if you don’t communicate how will you ever change anything, most importantly how will you even get or if the rut. Communication is key.
Some relationships aren’t meant to last forever, but some of them are. If you’ve ever experience this dull, but key phase to any relationship then you get what I’m saying. Understand the hard work and dedication it takes to pull out of this rut, then you’ll be able to pull through. Be proud of your hard work, relationships aren’t meant to be a piece of cake no matter what your friends told you, it’s about working as a team to better each other. Hopefully you and your S.O. will be able to make it work and keep your relationship going.
Hey HC Chapters, have you ever experienced the “two year rut?” If so leave us a comment below on how you and your significant other pulled out of it and worked together, or how you both failed and learned from the experience.