As I look through photos of what the first semester of college has brought me, I realize that the girl photographed on move-in day and the girl I now see in the mirror are two different people. I never expected to have as many lows or as many highs as I did in one semester, but if there is anything I learned, it’s to control the controllable and disregard the rest.
Let me set the stage- my first semester of freshman year, more than three hundred miles from home, in the nation’s capital, the world was my oyster, and the world most definitely had some lessons to teach me.
Navigating a social scene in college is somewhat tricky. First, you’re thrown into a large pool of young adults, all from different walks of life. In my first semester at university, I expected to form lifelong bonds with everyone I met. Unfortunately, I wasn’t ready for the rude awakening that friends come and go. Some will come and stay for a while, but some will go within a couple of months, weeks, or even days. Coming to terms with this cycle of friendships was hard for me. Often I found myself trying to hold onto friends or figure out what went wrong, but in reality, the “going” of a friendship happens for a reason. It’s best to come to terms with this because you can only control the controllable, and another human, no matter how hard you try, isn’t controllable. So, in the upcoming semesters, I’m leaving behind trying to hold on to friendships that are ending.
For me, going to school in a big city has given me a major fear of missing out on social events. Starting on Thursday and continuing through Sunday, many students go out to bars or clubs. Each night, of course, has its typical clubs, houses, or bars to attend. At the start of the semester, I found myself hyper fixating on who to Uber with, where to go, and especially what to wear. Not only does the prospect of dancing in a crowded club, with other people’s sweat all over you sound gross, but it’s also expensive, exhausting, and overall just not good for you. I suggest taking a moment to figure out why you are going out. Frequently, I found myself going out just because everyone else was and not because I actually wanted to. As the semester progressed, I came to peace with not going out every night or weekend. Not only did my grades improve, but my health and overall mood improved. I found myself waking up early and refreshed on Saturday or Sunday mornings. This enabled me to take advantage of DC’s many experiences it has to offer. Putting my phone aside in the evenings during the weekend has been my most significant help avoiding FOMO. I also noticed that once you mention staying in, a surprising amount of people are more than happy to stay in too! FOMO is undoubtedly staying in my first semester because what am I missing out on if I didn’t even want to go in the first place?
By leaving behind these two things in my first semester, I hope to enjoy the moment for what it is. Without worrying about what other people are doing and without pushing for something that just isn’t working anymore, I have come to appreciate the simplicity that relationships with friends, my boyfriend, and even just with myself alone have to offer me. This new outlook has become something so much more than just appreciation. It has become the little bursts of happiness, motivation, and peace that I had been missing during my first semester.