I remember my first time experiencing Sexual Assault Awareness month at CUA. I was walking with friends and suddenly I saw all of these t-shirts hanging in front of the Pryz. They had messages like “I said no and he didn’t listen”, “It wasn’t your fault”, “You are never alone” and more. There was a table with markers and shirts on it and people were asking if others wanted to share a message. I made eye contact with one of the girls and she gestrued at me. My stomach turned and I felt exposed. Did she know what had happened to me? Was he here? Did my parents know? If I make a shirt will they find out? All of these questions raced through my head along with a million more. I felt like I was trapped in this state of fear as I simply watched the PEERS group table outside.
Being at a school where I have been sexually assaulted is hard. However, being at a school that fights to bring awareness to sexual assault on college campuses is also hard. So imagine those two things together. Having trouble? Well let me just say that it makes April seem like hell on earth at times. But after almost three years it has gotten better. With each day, I am reminded that there are people out there who want to support me. That there are people who actually care about consent. That there are people who do believe that rape and sex ARE two different things. I know that April is never going to be an easy month in college. However, it doesn’t mean that I can’t handle it. Because without PEERs and other CUA students, I don’t know if I could handle the reminders especially during April.