Disclaimer: This is not meant to offend anybody who likes, posts, or interacts with this trend.
The time 6:00 AM appears on the mirrored alarm clock on the pristine white Ikea nightstand with the Apple watch charging, and she immediately lights her Bath and Body Works candle. Even though she has only been awake for ten minutes on an empty stomach, she begins her pilates workout and afterward proceeds to make an all-vegan kale smoothie. We all know the trend, the “that girl” or “how to be that girl.” It basically is a trend where people want to show how to put together their lives are and how to have a more productive lifestyle. They all also seemingly have the same minimalist, clean and rich-looking rooms with LED lights and matching signature scents. Although this life can be seen as aesthetically pleasing and glamorous, it can be teaching the wrong message and can contribute to already toxic social media.
First of all, this trend is mainly done by those of middle to upper class. You can see this throughout the videos: the Apple Watch, Nespresso machines, MacBooks, and endless furniture that looks fresh out of a Pottery Barn catalog. It is all new and shiny. Of course, there is nothing wrong with this lifestyle or being rich. What is wrong is that this trend only shows this lifestyle. You hardly see a girl do this trend where she doesn’t have name-brand appliances or has a maximalist style bedroom. Why? Because those aren’t the ones that show up on your “For You” page, middle to lower classes aren’t entertaining enough or glamorous enough for fame, so, therefore, TikTok doesn’t give it attention. This trend creates the idea that in order to be productive or have your life together, you have to come from money and buy the newest things. In reality, money doesn’t measure one’s productivity or the togetherness of their life.
This trend doesn’t only under-represent income, but also race, gender, and body type. Almost every TikTok I have seen under this trend has been a skinny white girl. Of course, again, there is nothing wrong with that. However, the most famous TikTok stars are skinny white girls like Charli D’amelio and Addison Rae. Mid and plus-sized women, middle-class people, and POC are not represented enough in all social media platforms, especially TikTok. If a plus-size girl were to do this trend, it wouldn’t blow up as much. “That girl” also doesn’t include disabled women. Each girl in these videos is also working out and doing yoga, but what about those who are physically unable to exercise? Also, if a skinny girl shows herself exercising we praise it and celebrate it, but if we see a plus-sized woman exercise, we fat-shame her. All in all, this trend shows us that being “that girl” means being a white and skinny girl.
Finally, everyone has their own definition of what it means to be “that girl” or to be put together. For me personally, feeling productive changes in my mental state. If I am in a depressive episode, I feel like “that girl” when I take my medications on time or even shower. On days where my mental health is good, I feel super put together if I get ahead on assignments or hell, even put on an outfit that isn’t pajamas. Every person struggles with different things and setting an impossible goal of productivity ignores the fact that not everyone feels productive waking up at 6 AM or going on a run at sunrise. As someone who struggles with productivity when depressed, this trend made me feel like I wasn’t doing enough and that I wasn’t successful because I couldn’t even drink a cup of water while other girls could drink a gallon. This again goes to show the underrepresentation of the trend because taking your medications on time doesn’t seem as glamorous or inspiring. When looking at this trend, remember that you know what is best for you. Do what makes you feel productive and happy even if it doesn’t fit the aesthetic or glamorous lifestyle you see on TikTok.
Even though this trend isn’t meant to be harmful or shameful, it still lacks representation for the vast majority. This trend feeds into the problem that young women hardly see girls on social media that look like them. It teaches and preaches that in order to be productive and seen as “put together” you have to be rich, skinny, and worst of all, white. To make social media more inclusive, we need to make trends more inclusive and representative of all people, especially women. If you see this trend, instead of getting discouraged, post your own spin on it and start to normalize and celebrate all types of life and beauty.