Roses, chocolates, jewelry, letters…These are usually the things we think about whenever it’s Valentine’s season. Moreover, whenever we think of who the recipients of these gifts are, many of us might say something like “girlfriends” or “wives”. We tend to perceive that this romantic holiday is only targeted towards women, which isn’t always the case. Valentine’s Day is more than just a feminine holiday.
Throughout the years, Valentine’s Day has been socially constructed as a day of romance, especially for couples. It has also shaped our perception of gender roles, reinforcing that it’s about a male-female relationship and that the male partner is assigned the role of the “giver”, the one who usually buys flowers and chocolates for his female partner.
The truth behind this scenario is that it stereotypes not only male-female relationships but also the gender roles in everyday society. For centuries, there has always been a hierarchy between the roles of men and women. Men are always seen as the breadwinners or the ones who go out to provide for their loved ones at home. This masculine role usually assigns the male partner as the dominant one who makes the majority of the decisions. Meanwhile, women are always perceived as those who stay at home. They are portrayed as more submissive to their male partners and the choices they make.
Here’s the thing: Valentine’s Day is more than just a special day strictly for male-female couples. Across the globe, many different cultures celebrate Valentine’s Day in their own distinct ways. In Estonia and Finland, Feb. 14 is instead called “Friendship Day”, where people would honor and celebrate with their friends, regardless of whether any of them are in a relationship or not. In Japan, people would purchase a type of chocolate called “giri-choco”, which would be given to their friends and family to express their love in a non-romantic way. Therefore, Valentine’s Day is meant to celebrate love for all, which means love for our families, friends, and just about anyone who’s lonely and needs more love. In addition to that, as the LGBTQ community continues to grow, this heteronormative stereotype between a man and a woman is becoming less relevant.
What I think is powerful about Valentine’s Day is that we can accept and show love to just about anyone, regardless of their gender identity, color, sexuality, religion, race, or national origin. Love is truly a universal value, and it’s something that will surely unite us more as a global community, amidst everything that is happening today.
Regarding the topic of gender roles, women do not need to be constrained to always being the “recipient” in a relationship, whether it’s about something small like flowers, or something more serious, like deciding whether to move in with your significant other. All women should know that they are equally as capable as men to be the “givers” in a relationship. They are free to form their own opinions and decide what is best for both of them.
Also, if you’re a woman, don’t be afraid to buy flowers or any other sort of gift for your loved one. In some Asian countries, like South Korea, women usually buy chocolates for guys on Valentine’s Day, instead of the other way around.
Whether you’re single or taken, Valentine’s Day is a holiday that can be celebrated by everyone, for many different reasons. Love can mean so many different things, and it is meant to be open to anyone without any boundaries. There are so many people out there who need it, even if it’s just a little. So what are you waiting for?