When I first applied for CU Boulder’s Alternative Breaks program, I honestly had no idea what to expect. The application was finished with a complete “why not?” mentality and with little confidence that I would even get in. Consequently, it didn’t seem real when I got an email that I had been accepted into the program, nor when I was told who I would be working with, nor when I got to drive our massive (and kind of creepy) van for the first time. It only really started to feel real when I woke up on the first day of our trip to pile into a van with 11 people I barely knew, to go work in a state I had rarely been to.
To provide some background, CU’s Alternative Breaks program provides students with the opportunity to provide service in some shape or form for a community that is not their own. My specific program took place in the Redwood Forests of California, where I spent a week leading preteens from differing socioeconomic backgrounds through an outdoor science camp. Think camp counselor, but with a bit more of an educational impact than usual. Through this program, children got to learn about the redwoods, forest fires, animals that lived in this habitat (looking at you, banana slugs), and conservation.
As someone who loves spending time outside, I was really excited about the opportunity to spend a week off the grid, especially in a part of the United States I had seldom explored. However, I was also, honestly, deeply regretting my decision to do this trip at 2:50 a.m. the morning of our departure. In my head at the time, so many things could go wrong.
What if I snore in the van? What if we all hate each other? What if my students hate me? What if I tip over the van? What even is a banana slug?
Eventually, after a deep YouTube dive into passenger van safety, I was picked up and headed for California. I’m happy to tell you that the rest is history. Not only did I meet some incredible people, see some incredible things, and have some incredible experiences, but I also learned so much about myself, the world around me, and nature itself. Although the lessons I have stored within me are endless, there are a couple I have discussed with my colleagues/friends that really resonated with me and that I would love to share.
Kids Are People Too
Something my colleagues and I really noticed about our time with our fifth-graders was how hard-hitting some of their emotional issues were. Children are often coddled or straight-up ignored when sharing their feelings, and too often are their opinions overshadowed by those of an adult in charge. We, as college students, are in a lucky enough position where we are adults in the eyes of the law and those younger than us, but we distinctly remember what it feels like to be a child. That means a lot more than I had ever realized before.
These kids looked up to us, like they look up to their parents and teachers, but could connect with us in a very special way. We, as college students and “cabin leaders,” seemed a lot more likely to own up to our mistakes and laugh at ourselves than those older role models. The looks on my cabin’s faces when I apologized and explained that “adults make mistakes too” after telling them the wrong time for an activity or breaking the rules on a camp game proved that. And that connection is important. Too often do kids idealize the grown-up world while taking the blame for all of their flaws and mistakes. Sharing your own failings makes them realize that even with a large age gap, no humans are perfect. They deserve to know that. In fact, they need to know that.
During dinner with my cabin of 10-year-old boys one night, they got a little too excited and knocked a full pitcher of ice water onto my lap. And wow, did this test my patience. While wiping up my legs and the floor around me, I noticed that all of the boys were dead silent and avoiding eye contact with me. Finally, after a couple of minutes of cleaning and self-pity for my damp jeans, I looked at them and said, “it’s okay, you can laugh. It’s funny.”
They burst out laughing. They told me it looked like I peed my pants and that my face was so funny when the water spilled that they thought I was going to pass out from anger. And then, they handed me their spare napkins to help me wipe up the water.
Me telling them that it was okay to laugh wasn’t some act of holiness or leadership that I’m proud of. It was honestly just what I wished someone would’ve told me in those kinds of situations when I was a kid, not even ten years ago. I mean, I spill my water (and garlic sauce… and barbecue sauce…and frozen blueberries… the list goes on) all over my apartment floor all the time. Who am I to tell these boys that a water spill that looks suspiciously like a pee-stain on my pants isn’t funny? We expect more out of them sometimes than we do ourselves. I was definitely guilty of it before this week. That’s not fair, and we should do all we can to change that expectation. If it means getting called “pee pants” for the rest of dinner, so be it. Besides, once they weren’t scared of me yelling at them, they actually were more willing to help clean up.
Surround Yourself with Amazing People, and You’ll Feel Amazing as Well
40+ hours in a cramped van with 11 other people means you’ll get to know them pretty well. And if I had to spend that much time with anyone ever again, it would be these guys again. They were all incredibly interesting students and people, with exceedingly diverse personalities and goals, and I looked up to all of them.
If you think that putting yourself in a position where you are forced to be around astoundingly impressive human beings would be stressful, I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong. It’s so fun, so inspiring, and if they’re genuinely good people, it can make you feel good about yourself as well. Our conversations in the van ranged from “Your Mom” jokes to religion to life goals. With people who are willing to put themselves out there like my teammates were, any of these conversations can be astonishingly riveting.
I don’t really know why this lesson came to me as a surprise. Of course, I would find the best people on a volunteer trip. I think that often, college students can be so scared of comparison and competition that they avoid situations like the one I was just put in. Please, please take that leap. If you put yourself out there, you’ll meet other people willing to do the same, and you’ll both be the better for it.
Whether Superficial or Deep-Cutting, Your Impact on Children Can Be Astronomical
After our kids had waved goodbye on their school bus on their way back home, my teammates and I were able to reflect on our impact on a windy Santa Cruz Beach. I heard some stories about their experience and shared some about mine. Eventually, the point was raised that after hearing about the deep conversations and lessons taught to the kids this week, some felt like they didn’t have as much of an impact on their cabin because they spent too much time enforcing the rules or disciplining.
We all then concluded that although the deeper moments with these children were moments they would probably remember for a lifetime, the “in-between moments” mattered as well. If you were rushing your kids to get ready in the morning and were too stressed out to be the “fun” counselor at that moment, hey—you got them to their fun activity on time and they were able to play/learn for as long as possible. I had some moments I loved hearing about from my co-counselors and some I was proud of myself because of how profound they were, but either way, being a safe, happy, and welcoming figure for a child is something that they might not have had much of in their life. Do with that tidbit what you will.
We All Deserve To Have Fun
Going off of the previous point, I think both adults and children alike forget that it’s okay to do something purely for enjoyment in this post-pandemic (knock on wood) society. Many of my boys were surprised when I let them play a game they wanted to play instead of staying inside our cabin during cabin time or that they could choose what activity they wanted to do. Although we were technically at an outdoor science school, there was plenty of time to capture the flag, other games, silly songs, and little dances. Because these fifth-graders had been cooped up at home since third grade, I think some of them forgot that we can do some things just for the heck of it. Or maybe they hadn’t been privileged enough to have the time or money to do something just for fun. Either way, they needed it. You could tell.
The other college students and I needed it as well. When’s the last time you played capture the flag? Or sang some nonsensical song at the top of your lungs? I know, I know, it’s childish to do these things, but it’s also just… enjoyable. I could go into a multitude of reasons why we can’t just let go and do whatever we want when it comes to our downtime, but you get the gist. Go play a playground game with your friend or explore a nearby forest. You deserve it.
The Sooner You Make A Fool of Yourself, The Sooner You’ll Feel at Home
Our first night at the camp, we and other volunteer college students (also all amazing people) were told we were going to have to perform some skits with the stupidest (but also funny, I’ll admit it) punchlines in front of the entire camp. It was also made clear that we were going to look like idiots in these skits, no matter what we did.
Luckily, in the 10 minutes of rehearsal time we got before performing (first in front of all of the volunteers and then in front of the kids), we all collectively and silently agreed that we were just going to “full send” on these skits, no matter how ridiculous we looked. I can’t speak for myself, but because of this, all of my co-counselors absolutely killed it and were actually really funny on stage—in a good way.
This trend continued for the rest of the week. We had to sing really loudly, despite our lack of vocal training, and were deprived of much getting-ready time, meaning we were fully walking around looking somewhat dirty and somewhat unhinged at all times. But that didn’t matter anymore. You want to get comfortable with a group of strangers quickly? Make a fool of yourself with confidence.
(By the way, absolutely none of the children thought my group’s skit was funny. The punchline definitely went over their head. At least we had fun, I guess.)
Just Go For It
My concluding point sounds incredibly cheesy, but it had to be said. I was so nervous at the beginning of this trip, but I wouldn’t take back this experience for the world. If you’re considering jumping into something new, just do it. I learned so much—some things are more niche than others (did you know redwood trees get most of their water from coastal fog?), but all are important.
More than anything, the anxiety at the beginning of the trip was worth it for the people I met and the lives of the children that (I hope) I impacted. Although I don’t think I’ll feel the need to get into another huge van anytime soon (I’ll stick to my five-seater Subaru for now), the leap of faith I took this past week is one I’ll be grateful for for the rest of my life.