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The “She Deserved The Purse” Trend: Good Deeds Ruined By Selfishness

The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at CU Boulder chapter.

If you’re as chronically online as I am, I’m sure you’ve already come across the “she deserved the purse” trend. A beautiful, pay-it-forward movement started by DeNaesha Gonzalez, who, while shopping at Target, saw a purse discarded among baby items. Her video urged others to begin to leave money inside of formula, diaper boxes, baby clothes, etc. It was truly an incredible moment of unification among women to help each other out, especially when we all know the sacrifices mothers make for their children. Gonzalez said that seeing the purse made her think about the times that she also had to choose something for her son, over something for herself. 

@denaeshagonzalez

To the Mother who chose themselves last, you deserve the world tonight and always.🤎 #motherhood #motherhoodunplugged #parenting #parentsoftiktok

♬ original sound – 𝙅𝙖𝙘𝙤𝙗🇵🇱

Now, Gonzalez didn’t urge others to begin leaving cash in everyday childcare items, but that’s what others began to do, and it got popular very quickly. I’m sure while hearing this you might think, “Wow, that’s a wonderful thing for people to do for complete strangers” and, it is, but unfortunately, there are many others who saw this as an opportunity to gain some extra cash for themselves. 

What was meant to be a loving opportunity to help out someone who might be in need, turned into a complete brawl to see who could get the most cash the fastest. Daily, baby aisles were becoming raided, people were taking apart diaper boxes and aisles were left completely trashed; all  so that someone could get a few extra bucks. Valeria Diaz, another TikToker, spoke about how she thought the trend was beautiful, but was hesitant to participate due to the selfish nature that she knows most people have nowadays. Unfortunately, she was right. She posted a TikTok of her local Target’s baby aisle, which showcased a disarray of products, clearly torn apart by people looking for cash. 

After seeing multiple videos myself of people actively searching for cash or of others showing their own local aisles destroyed, I couldn’t help but ask why? Why is society so against doing something kind, allowing a gesture made to help mothers  thrive? Why is the world so selfish, especially towards parents? Obviously, these are all questions that I’ll probably never get the answer to, but if there’s anything I do know it’s that it starts with the individual. 

If we all took the time to take a step back and see the harm we cause with our own selfishness, I believe we’d see that we’re harming others, without any good reason. All those people, kids, men, and probably even other women, that took the money that was intended for mothers in need, probably just thought, nice a few extra bucks. However, to those mothers, it could’ve made a difference in the meals they were able to put on the table for their families. Now, to be completely honest, I don’t believe in giving people more just because they made the decision to have children, but when things are intended to specifically help parents, I think it’s disgusting how so many people are quick to try and take it for themselves. 

We all dream of a better world. One where we’re all safer, wealthier, and have better lives, but that’s not going to be achieved by ripping open diaper boxes to find a $50 bill inside. That’s not going to happen by tearing apart cans of formula in  hopes that you might leave $10 richer. That’s not going to happen by taking away something that a person did out of nothing, but pure kindness to help a mother.

Adamari Ruelas

CU Boulder '26

Adamari Ruelas is a contributing writer for the Her Campus chapter at CU Boulder. Her job within Her Campus is to write at least two articles a month, one contributing to a theme week. Outside of Her Campus, Adamari is a first-generation college student who is currently a sophomore at the University of Colorado Boulder, majoring in English Creative Writing. During her spring semester of freshman year, Adamari studied abroad in London, wanting to learn about different cultures while also being able to study in a Literature-rich city. Adamari also interned at the Aurora Public Schools Communications Department during her senior year of High School, where she learned how to write articles, interview subjects, and create social media posts for the department under the guidance of multiple professionals. In her free time, Adamari enjoys reading and writing, at least when she isn’t hanging out with her friends or playing Overwatch with her little siblings. She is a very proud Mexican-American who loves sharing her culture as long as Mexican history with anyone who lends an ear. Adamari is also a massive nerd, especially with Harry Potter (she’s a Ravenclaw btw) and Marvel. In the future, Adamari hopes to become a published author, sharing her works with the world and hoping they help people the way books have helped her.