“Only-children are extremely spoiled.” Usually women who undergo in-vitro fertilization, depending on the age, are more likely to have a multiple gestation pregnancy. My parents decided to undergo this procedure in February of 2006 and ended up with me the following November— lucky them!
Many people usually ask questions such as, “Don’t you wish you had siblings?” My answer is absolutely not! I won’t claim that I’ve never felt envious of others with siblings after seeing their intimate and tight-knit relationships.Even when I was five years old when my mom would ask me if I wanted a sibling, my answer was still no.
A reason why my answer hasn’t changed is, simply, I was and still am spoiled. I didn’t like the idea of sharing any of my toys with someone else. However, I am lucky that my answer has remained the same, as the reason I am who I am today is because I was raised alone.
I craved the attention and praise my parents gave me, and how they would always only show me off. Being the center of their world wasn’t always amazing, however. I tend to easily feel overstimulated, and being in the spotlight, constantly having questions asked, became painful for me. This caused me to start to appreciate being alone, a separate feeling from being lonely, as I have always found peace in solitude.
Due to being an only child, I learned what it means to be an introverted extrovert. I am split down the middle when deciding amongst going out with my friends, laying in bed, hiding under the covers on my phone, or not speaking to anyone. The reason I am able to do this is because I have no siblings to bother me.
Growing up as an only child also meant that I became an expert at entertaining myself. While some might view this as a disadvantage, I found it to be a blessing. I developed a vivid imagination and a knack for finding joy in simple activities such as listening to music while staring at the ceiling to exploring the outdoors in solitude. As depressing as it may seem, I promise you— it’s not. I learned the gift of making the most out of my own company.
I am not trying to come off as a “loner,” but being the only child of my household meant that I had to navigate social interactions and conflicts on my own. There have been many situations where if I had a sibling I would’ve resorted to them for help, but since I didn’t, I learned how to problem-solve and self-advocate. Many people, including my parents, could vouch for this statement but I’ll stay humble about it.
An unexpected addition to my “only-childness,” is the fact that I am pursuing a career that hasn’t been influenced by the careers of generations before me. I am set on becoming an attorney and have been set on that my entire life. Almost everyone I know in my family has careers in STEM, but not me. However, it is not surprising that only children end up in law– plus, only children do end up more successful than others.
In a way, being an only child taught me the importance of resilience and self-reliance. True, I had my parents to rely on, but to the best of my knowledge, it isn’t the same as having a sibling to lean on for support. This independence has helped me throughout my life in developing a strong sense of self and a confidence that might have been different if I had grown up in a larger family setting. And, I can say with certainty that it has helped me with my transition into a large university like CU Boulder since I am used to independence.
So while the idea that “only children are spoiled” may hold some truth, it doesn’t capture my entire narrative, and what it meant to grow up as one has far more depth. My upbringing has shaped me into someone who became a product of their environment. And, if you asked me today if I wish I had a sibling, my answer would still be no.