When everything is going great, it’s easier to find gratitude, feel confident, and love ourselves; however, when things start to take a turn, you need to face the real test. I am currently studying abroad in Paris, and one afternoon, I was hanging out in my apartment with my roommate and close guy friend. Out of nowhere, he was talking about another girl in our program and mentioned that he thought she was more attractive than me. He should’ve stopped there but continued running his mouth, adding, “He would rather die than have sex with me.” I don’t think of him as more than a friend, so if he’s not attracted to me, that’s fine. However, what he said was unnecessary, mean, and hurtful. Friends are supposed to root for their friends, hype them up, and support them––not bring them down.
His behavior and his words are not the points of this story. The lesson for me was how I reacted to his words. Initially, negative thoughts started to trickle into my mind: You aren’t that pretty. And guys just don’t find me attractive. As soon as I realized what my inner voice told me, I stopped allowing these harmful thoughts to affect my peace and joy. You can’t stop thoughts from rolling in, but you can prevent yourself from attaching emotion to them and giving them power over how you feel. So instead, I came up with positive affirmations, such as I am beautiful, confident, and attractive, and I love myself for exactly who I am. Happiness should not depend on outside sources; it comes from within, and I am responsible for it.
What people say is a projection of their feelings and insecurities toward themselves and has nothing to do with you. You can stop taking everything so personally once you realize that only you have the power to validate your self-worth. Confident and happy people don’t talk that way toward their friends. Happy people have better things to do with their time and their energy. It’s time to wake up and show people how little power they have over you. The best revenge is to move on in silence. Why spend another minute letting someone else take up room in your head? What you focus on grows, so keep focusing on what makes you feel your best!