Earlier this week after the wake of the mass social media movement, #MeToo, we began looking to talk to college aged women who have experienced sexual assault, abuse, or harassment in any form.
We know that for every story out there that gets told, there are plenty more that stay hidden. While the #MeToo movement has been a powerful thing to see, we know there’s a lot of people who aren’t ready to share their story, haven’t yet told their loved ones, or are terrified to have their name attached to the hashtag for various reasons.
Her Campus CU Boulder wanted to provide a platform for our community to participate in the #MeToo movement while remaining anonymous and protecting their privacy, while still having an opportunity to share their story.
We have edited and removed things like individual names, fraternity names, campus locations to protect the individuals who were brave enough to share their stories.
The ladies of HC CU support you, hear you, & believe you – your experience is valid.
****Please be warned, the following content could be triggering, upsetting, and shocking. Please read these stories at your own discretion****
Preferred Name: he’s happy in a long term relationship now | Age: 22
“I went to a fraternity party two years ago at an annex when I was a sophomore and he was a senior. He was tall, attractive, and charming. I was swooning. But one thing led to another, and before I knew it I was in his room and he kept giving me a handle and encouraging me to drink more. He was trying to be so nice and wouldn’t take no for an answer. Then I blacked out. I remember being scared and hurting every few minutes when I would come to consciousness again. Everything was hazy. He kept pulling my hair and slapping me really hard. I was not doing anything in return. I didn’t understand how that was sexy. We woke up and proceeding to ignore me as he kept having sex with me, I felt like it was my fault because I physically couldn’t say anything. All I could think about was how sick I felt and how glad I was that I was taking birth control. He tried to make me cuddle with him so I ran to the bathroom to fake throwing up. When I got back I couldn’t find any of my clothes. He threw them including my shoes and purse really far under the bed. I was ignoring him while I was searching, which then led him to make very mean comments about how I owed him breakfast because he let me stay over. I got dressed and he wouldn’t even get out of bed to walk me to the door. His friends yelled and laughed at me as I cried all the way through their apartment.”
Preferred name: Anonymous | Age: 21
“I was 15 on my first real date. We went to the movies. My dad dropped me off. Immediately when the movie started he had his hands all over me. I was naive and didn’t really know what to do but he kept touching me the entire movie. Then after the movie he suggested we walk out the back. Of course I didn’t really question it. As my mom was waiting in the parking lot to pick me up he forced himself on me shoving his tongue into my mouth despite me pushing him away and telling him to stop. Eventually I got away and walked to my mom’s car. I didn’t fully realize how bad it was for a while. Thankfully I had friends who told him off but that’s about all that happened. This is the biggest act of physical sexual abuse I’ve experienced but I can’t even begin to count the acts of verbal abuse I’ve experienced just like almost every other woman I know. “
Preferred name: Anonymous | Age: 20
“I was in my dorm room, alone and too drunk. I guess I started texting a guy I had been talking to. I woke up the next morning naked in my bed, blood on my sheets. I texted him asking what happened and he said we had sex and I was the one who said not to use protection.”
Preferred name: Girl through the window Age: 22
“I had just transferred to boulder and was a really shy girl who didn’t have a lot of experience with boys. I hadn’t even had my first kiss yet and was waiting until marriage to have sex. Anyways I really really liked a boy but I was shy and inexperienced. We had been friends for 7 months and one night we were at a birthday party together (at his house) and he asked me to come to his room to talk. I came to talk to him and we started drinking and next thing I know my clothes were coming off. We didn’t even kiss but he took both our clothes off and I told him to stop. We were on his bed and I wrapped myself in his blankets and we proceeded to get in an argument about why I didn’t want to have sex. I told him about how I was waiting until marriage and he said “why your first time is going to suck anyways.” He wasn’t religious; we continued to argue and he just didn’t understand what it meant to me. We argued for a long time and I ended up falling asleep in his bed naked while he slept on the other end of the bed. I woke up to him leaning over me kissing me- my first kiss. I kissed him back and told him “we can’t have sex.” He told me “don’t worry we’re not.” But I could feel him against me and he hurt. Everything hurt. I told him to get off me and he did. He asked if he could take me home but instead I made him hold me because I didn’t know how to process what happened. Again he asked if he could walk me home. When I got home I realized that I was bleeding– I bled for the next five days. He wouldn’t talk to me about what happened. I didn’t even think about taking plan B because I had never thought of it as an option. I missed my period and had to wait two weeks thinking I could be pregnant. He didn’t talk to me for months after that. The worst part, I think, is that because of that situation I feel forever attached to him. He took away something that was so precious to me, something I was saving for the one person I loved differently than anyone else. So I thought I might be able to make it work. If I loved him and we worked out that wouldn’t be so bad right? 7 months later I became his hookup buddy even though he was sleeping with many other girls. I finally stopped sleeping with him after he snuck me in through a window to avoid his friends seeing me and the following day in public he wouldn’t speak to me. 2 years later and I’m still in love with him. I tried so hard to make it work because my morality was compromised and that situation forever changed my life.”
Preferred Name: anonymous | Age: 20
“i was raped twice my freshman year.”
Preferred Name: Jane | Age: 20
“When I was visiting italy at age 12 , I was catcalled as I walked down the street. I remember my family telling me it’s a compliment and I remember blushing.”
Preferred Name: Anonymous | Age: 20
“I met a boy my sophomore year who had a lot of the same interests I had, we got along really well. I was extremely depressed at the time and thought I had found someone I could spend time with and someone who understood me. After knowing each other for less than a month and hanging out a few times I went over to his house like I had a few times before just to hang out. We had done this alot before and we would stay up for hours just talking about anything and everything and then i’d always drive home. This time I came over and he offered me some wine, he kept filling up my cup over and over and before I knew it I couldn’t stand up or walk. I remember being outside on the porch with him one minute and then the next thing I remember is laying on my back in his bed with him on top of me. I don’t know how or when my clothes came off, how we got to his room, how this happened. I told him to stop and I got up and frantically looked for my clothes and said I had to leave. I can’t even remember how I got home. I didn’t speak to anyone for days, I failed 3 classes that semester. It’s been a year and I still feel violated, dirty, like I can’t get rid of the feeling.
Preferred name: Anonymous | Age: 30
“Was during a student party in Switzerland. I was dancing with a female friend, when a guy came to us. He was a little bit insistent, and i danced with him for a while, just for fun. After about 10 minutes, he forced me to kiss him. I explained him that I was not interested, that we can dance all night long but we will never have sex together. He left, telling me that I was a slut. 1 hour later, I walked by him when I was going out (alone) to smoke. He grabbed me by the p****, so I slapped him. He took me from behind, and my feet could not touch the ground anymore. At this moment he told me that I deserved this, and that he saw that I wanted to have sex with him. I fight against him, and finish a little bit undresses on the floor… 2 other guys arrived, and said “please, put your clothes on, you look like a slut !” I ran away, and called the police, which hopefully was quick to come and very professional. But the when the guy saw the police’s car, he left quickly the party…”