Trigger warning* This article covers topics of sexual assault and rape. If you need support, please call the National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-4673. You are never alone in this.
We live in a world where college campuses have become common places for women to be assaulted. We live in a world where the rape at FIJI in University of Nebraska and Brock Turner at Stanford aren’t shocking anymore because of how frequent they have become. According to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest Network) “50% of college sexual assault occurs in either August, September, October and November.” On top of this statistic is another alarming one: “one out of every six American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her life time. Nine out of ten rape victims are women.” Rape has become a regular fear for women,, a fear that companies now profit from through products like self-defense keychains and rape whistles. It is the reason women can’t walk alone at night, the reason why women have to cover their drink at parties, and the reason why college is a terrifying place for survivors.
As a survivor, I knew that coming to a large public university like CU Boulder was going to bring back a lot of the fear I had worked so hard to overcome back at home going to a 2,500 person high school. However, I have had to adjust to coming to a 30,000 person school where the chances I would experience an assault increased tenfold. , something I have already experienced and don’t wish to go through again. As we are in the middle of the four most common months for rape, it is crucial that all college students are aware on how to help keep each other safe and even more importantly, how to keep each other accountable.
How to keep yourself safe
First of all, no matter what happens, if you are ever assaulted, it will never be your fault. Even if you get blackout drunk, go to a party alone, or show up in a certain outfit, rape will never be the victim’s fault. Your body is yours, and no one has the right to take it from you. Here are some tips to help you feel more safe and aware of your surroundings:
- Avoid going to parties alone and always bring a designated driver. The designated driver will help keep count of everybody and make sure no one goes home with someone suspicious, especially if that person is drunk.
- Going to a party with a group of people you trust will help ensure you arrive and leave with that group. over your drink at all times! If you go to the bathroom, give it to somebody you trust to hold it for you, never set it down then walk away from it. Trust your gut, you are never overreacting if you feel uncomfortable around someone. Even if other people are comfortable around that persson, if your gut tells you to stay away then stay away.
- Carry a self defense keychain
- Walk with someone at night or to call someone while you walk and to use CU Boulder’s Night Ride if you feel unsafe with an Uber.
No matter what happens, it will never be your fault.
How to keep each other accountable
Let’s start by getting rid of the “bro code.” Stop allowing friends who have assaulted, verbally, or physically abused another person. Continuing to support someone who has been accused of sexual assault makes the survivor feel isolated and not believed. If you know a friend who has been accused, heard about something they did, or see something such as them taking a drunk person home or slipping something in their drink, report immediately. You can make reports to CU Boulder’s Office of Victim Assistance. It is better to lose a friend than to stand by and watch it happen. Spend time learning about things like Chanel Miller, Judge Kavanaugh, and the cases from Missoula: this will help you better understand the survivor’s point of view. Lastly and probably the most important is to know that there are many different ways to say no. These responses count as saying “no” and mean that you do not have consent. Some examples are:
- “I don’t feel like it right now.”
- “I don’t like this.”
- “Can we do something else?”
- “I am kind of tired.”
- “Maybe another time.”
- “I feel uncomfortable.”
- “This hurts.”
Together, as a campus and community, we can make CU Boulder a safe space for survivors and break the stereotype of colleges being dangerous for women.