The honeymoon phase of my freshman year is over. This sentiment really hit me like a ton of bricks. I am beginning to realize the reality of my newfound freedom, and the real responsibility that comes with it. This is how I am handling my stress this November and not feeling bad for focusing on myself.
I have always had a hard time with time management; this combined with a drive to please others has always led to guilty downward spirals, full of white lies and unfulfilled potential. That being said, once I have spiraled to a small version of rock bottom I pick myself back up. I have learned to play to my strengths during these episodes of stress, rather than shutting down (with lots of trial and error, trust me).
Self Love November started as a joke. My friends and I were talking about how I needed to take a break from guys and focus on myself. Then, someone said, “Myles needs her own version of NNN.” We all laughed, but I also couldn’t shake the idea. While it was all in good spirit, my friends had called me out on how they could tell I was struggling with stress and burnout from the school year and my social life. I needed to make a change. I needed to hold myself accountable and acknowledge that what I was currently doing was not working and was self-destructive. This is where Self Love November was born, and honestly, it’s been my saving grace this month.
Paralyzing stress is not uncommon among college students, or people in general. How you face these day-to-day problems says a lot about you because let’s be real, no one is as put together as they may want you to think. This is how I am pulling myself together.
Journaling
Everyday, I sit down every day for ten minutes, sometimes a little longer, and write about where I am at that moment. Casual journaling helps me move on from my thoughts. I tend to overthink, and getting out intruding thoughts on paper helps me move on from them.
Scheduling My Day
Again, this is really loose. If I don’t follow everything that I’m “supposed” to do on that given day, I don’t sweat it too much. I write down when my classes are and a to-do list that needs to get done during the free periods. I also make sure to leave open periods for fun and relaxing.
Setting Goals
I didn’t really think this was going to help at the moment, but setting goals that are achievable has helped me stay on track during the month, and little daily victories really help.
Focusing On My PEMS
I try to take time to think about how I am doing Physically, Emotionally, Mentally, and Spiritually (PEMS.) Just taking the time to acknowledge how I am really doing helps me move on from my stress, and leads to productivity.
These tools may not work for everyone, but some variation of taking time to focus on yourself without some sort of false narrative will help. Also, acknowledging that stress is a part of life, and pulling yourself is an ongoing process. These are habits I hope to establish in November, but continue to use and adjust as needed.
I think it’s important for everyone to focus on their mental health without shame. There is a common misconception that struggle and unhappiness are correlated. My friends would describe me as fun, bubbly, and optimistic. These are very real parts of my personality, but with these there is also anxiety, stress, and disappointment. These positive and negative aspects of me foil each other; they add layers and complexity to me, and I am proud of that. My front stage that I present to strangers and acquaintances is authentically me, but so is raw emotion and vulnerability. These complexities are what make me human, and it is an unspoken trait we all share. Create your own version of Self Love November, and take a moment to focus on yourself without guilt.