Conan Gray dropped his Wishbone album two days before I moved to college as a freshman, and I’ve played it every day on loop since. Conan Gray’s music has always had a late summer/early fall vibe, and every year when August hits, I’ll usually pull up his songs and integrate them back into my daily listening. I’ve resonated with his music before, but this album has been the most impactful to me because of the story it told about being in a relationship and then breaking up with them and trying to move on. Each song was unique and carried a different message about relationships, so buckle up because I’m breaking the songs down.
“Actor”
The first song on this album describes a couple where one pretends to not know the other one and that nothing is happening between them. For many people, college is a fresh start which can mean a variety of things. For this song in particular, it describes lying about knowing a person, but in my experience, it’s less about knowing they exist and more that they changed their whole personality and are displaying a false version of themselves. When meeting new people, it’s understandable to want to show off your best self, but from an older perspective, it feels weird to see the people who you’ve known for the past four years become a different person in a month. “Actor” is a song from that other perspective, seeing someone display a version of themselves that is completely different from the one you know.
“This Song”
“This Song” discusses being too shy to tell a person how you feel and then telling them that you love them. The song has a nostalgic feel, describing all of the little details you notice about a person. The beat of this song is very fast and flowy with some drum beats in the background, giving it a movie montage feeling. When I listen to this song, it reminds me of when I first moved to college and had to say my goodbyes to all of my friends and family. When I would see my best friend every single day over the summer, it was so easy to read between the lines that we held a lot of love for each other, but when we both moved to college away from each other, we didn’t have those little interactions every day. So now, whenever we call, we intentionally say “I love you” every time to put everything out there. “This Song” always reminds me to speak my mind and say how I feel, because not everyone has the chance to do that.
“Vodka Cranberry”
I literally have too much to say about this song. This is my favorite song on the album — the lyrics, the tune, the chorus, it’s all amazing. “Vodka Cranberry” portrays a couple where one person falls out of love with the other but won’t say anything. The other person knows that a breakup is coming, but if the other person won’t say it, then they will. While I haven’t been in this exact situation before, I feel like everyone can relate to being in some type of relationship where one person won’t admit how they feel, but the other one can feel a change. In my experience, friendships come and go as they do for everyone else, but when they’re in the process of fading, I am the one who is asking the other to speak up and communicate because if they don’t, I will. I feel like “Vodka Cranberry” captures the essence of that, and as a side note, this song makes me think of sitting in a cafe looking out at the fall trees while you wait for someone to show up who never does.
“Romeo,” “Connell” & “Nauseous”
“Romeo” is a song about a toxic relationship where one person is completely drained by the other’s selfishness and actions. “Nauseous” talks about being scared of getting into a relationship because of past hurt. “Connell” is about being hurt again and entering a relationship knowing that there will be heartbreak again, but thinking that you deserve it. I feel like these songs all fit together because they discuss the cycle of toxic relationships. These songs all have a beautiful storytelling element, and they display the full spectrum of emotions that come with relationships.
“Caramel” & “Class Clown”
“Caramel” and “Class Clown” are definitely fall songs because they talk about remembering the best parts of a person and how everything comes back around. Whenever fall comes around, that is my time of reflection. I try to live without regrets because at the end of the day, all of it made me who I am and I’m grateful for all of the experiences and interactions I’ve had — I wouldn’t go back to change any of it, good or bad, because both shaped me as a person.
“My World” & “Sunset Tower”
“My World” is the next song on the album, and it’s an anthem about moving on from someone and keeping them out of your mind. I think that this song is an important reminder that it’s your life and you don’t live it for anyone else. “Sunset Tower” is the foil because it discusses the bitterness that comes with seeing your ex move on and be happy without you. Both songs have more of an end-of-summer feeling, as fall transitions to new beginnings.
“Eleven Eleven” & “Care”
“Eleven Eleven” is the conclusion to moving on and coming to terms with feelings. The song illuminates human feelings that sometimes you just can’t move on from that one person. It’s a guilty admittance after the bitterness of pretending that they are off your mind and hating hearing about them moving on. “Care” is the final acceptance that a little part of you will always care about them. After feeling so much for a person, that can’t just be shut off.
Overall, this album holds a special place in my heart as these songs got me through the first month of college. Music is always a way to relate and connect with other people, but it’s also an outlet to connect with yourself and truly understand your feelings. I’m always listening to music, whether I’m walking somewhere, doing a chore, or just for fun, and I definitely appreciate music more when it has a meaning. Even if I don’t relate to it, I can get an insight into someone else’s experiences, which is huge in today’s society when people are scared to be imperfect.