My ultimate brain-rot — aka my ridiculous and laugh-out-loud overconsumption of media — recently has been watching the reviews of each week’s new Crumbl Cookies, and I just absolutely love it. Every Monday, I am blessed with new cookies, ASMR bites, and milk with ice in it — for some reason. I cozy up in my bed and begin my scroll through TikTok, waiting for the algorithm to bring me my favorite Crumbl Cookies mukbangs and reviews.
Now, it wasn’t always this way. I once was not a fan of Crumbl Cookies. It was only after my first time trying Crumbl with my friends that everything changed for me. People often say that distance makes the heart grow fonder, and that was my situation exactly. The closest Crumbl Cookies to my hometown was an hour and a half away, so it was far and few between that I got to reunite with my long-lost love. Thus, a reason leading to my absolute infatuation with Crumbl Cookies TikToks.
To be honest, for one, they bring back fond memories of long trips to Crumbl Cookies to split a six-pack with my friends. The birthday occasions, post-beach day trips, and a night snack to get us through the drive home are moments dear to my heart. We would grab a knife and split the cookies five ways, and somehow, we still couldn’t withstand the intensely high sugar intake. When I see the influencers on TikTok sitting in their cars and eating five thousand calories worth of cookies, I remember the days when my high school friends and I would do the same.
I have yet to trek the journey on the bus to get to the Crumbl Cookies nearest to Boulder, but I imagine it will probably be one of the most fulfilling trips I take this semester. It has largely contributed to my ever-increasing obsession with Crumbl TikToks, and I fear that if I don’t go soon, I might go into a lack-of-Crumbl-Cookies state of shock. I like to imagine that one day, someone will just show up at my door with Crumbl Cookies, and that would honestly be a truly gleeful and joyous day for me. I can imagine the happiest smile of all smiles that would be my face on that visionary day.
I think my perfect line-up of Crumbl Cookies — after watching upwards of five hundred Crumbl TikToks — would be four cookies: some kind of pumpkin spice cookie with cream cheese frosting, a fruity pebble cereal cookie, the strawberry shortcake cookie, and then some type of crunchy, graham cracker-y cookie if you can catch my drift. I’m just saying, if someone brought me these cookies someday, it would probably be better than my birthday.
My favorite Crumbl Cookie review/mukbang influencers have got to be the girl with the ice in her milk—just funny to be honest—and the guy who eats an entire six pack in less than ten minutes because wow I’m impressed and jealous at the same time. It is people like them that make me envious and reminiscent of the delicious and sugary masterpieces that are created by Crumbl Cookies. There’s not a much better way to treat yourself than that, and I’m just gonna say it, Insomnia Cookies just does not hit the same. It’s great, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not Crumbl Cookies and will never be Crumbl Cookies. All in all, I think after writing this article, it may be best that I just make that trip out to the Crumbl Cookies in Superior, and I think you should too.