Since I was probably five years old, I’ve always been actively involved in sports or dance year-round. I always had things to do and places to be. In high school I ran cross country and track basically 24/7. I would wake up at 6 am, go to school for eight hours, then go to practice at 4 pm for another two hours, and finally I would go home–assuming I didn’t have any other extracurricular commitments for the day. I was doing 12-hour days five days a week, and my weekends were usually taken up by competitions and tons of homework. For four years, that was my life, and now, for the first time ever I have to figure out how to live it without a committed sport.Â
Coming to Boulder, I knew that I did not want to seriously run in college, but I was a bit disappointed in the lack of a track club in such a big school. It has very much forced me to be more independent in my running, and to find other activities I enjoy doing. My day-to-day is completely different than how it was before because I no longer have two or more hours dedicated to practice—which is hard for me actually. I’ve never been a big room dweller; I like to be out and about, but it requires so much more effort than it previously did. At one point, I’ll get into a good groove of working out every day, doing my homework, and being with friends, but then something will come along—illness, finals, just random things honestly—and I lose the groove. I naturally have always been an overthinker, so if something gets in the way of my schedule, it can all come apart very quickly. I tend to find myself missing the days when other people held me accountable for my activities; when I had to practice or do an activity for the benefit of my team and not just myself. A lot of times, I miss the time that was always set aside and where someone told me what I was doing and how I was supposed to do it.
Despite this, I am not unhappy. I have a lot of new things in my life going on, and focusing on the now compared to the then is really important to me. I’ve been able to invest so much more time in things I love other than running and competing. NARP life has given me a whole new perspective on what I choose to spend my time on. My new mantra this semester has been something like Only do things you actually enjoy doing, if you don’t like it, don’t do it. In high school, I did a lot of stuff I really did not enjoy, and I’ve realized that is not what I want to do in college, nor in my life anymore.
For one, I joined HerCampus, which I absolutely adore and love, and it has given me new friends, community, and fun things to do. At first, I was nervous that I would just hate writing and not have any ideas, but I set those fears aside and tried something new. Now, writing my silly little articles is the best part of my month, and going to meetings is just a laid-back and nice end to my Tuesdays. It has been like this for a lot of different activities I’ve done. I go in a bit skeptical and wondering what I’m even doing there, but then it honestly figures itself out. I find myself falling into a new group of people, a project, or opportunity I didn’t even imagine would happen. I think something I’ve learned that I really enjoy is smaller and casual clubs that let me get as involved as I want to be. In the future, I think I will become more involved because that’s just who I am, but right now I simply want to feel out everything and dip my toes in the “pool of possibilities.” Â
But hey, with that, I’ve also tried stuff that has not been my thing. In which I say, quitting is okay. If something isn’t my vibe anymore, I’m done forcing myself to do it. If I’m not enjoying it or willing to commit to it at the level others want me to, then I have the freedom to just not do it. This is something that took me a long time to come to terms with because the idea of quitting has been such a negative thing for me. I always thought it meant I was a quitter or I wasn’t trying hard enough; however, now I know that sometimes things aren’t meant to be. Quitting isn’t quitting; it’s ending one chapter of my life to begin another.Â
My favorite part of NARP life though, has been my friends. I’ve never had so much fun meeting new people and making new friends in my entire life. I think before I never really had to dedicate my time—or had time to dedicate—to friendships and relationships because I would just see everyone at school or practice. In the past, I was always so physically or mentally exhausted that hanging out with my friends was just one more thing I had to check off my list. Although now I’m constantly making real plans and going to events with my friends, and I find it really fulfilling to hang out with different people. I’m learning that while it’s always nice to have time to myself, I love to be extroverted and around people who bring positive energy to my life.
Overall, I’m still learning the ins and outs of NARP life. I still have kinks to work out, but it’s a new part of my life that I’m enjoying more and more every day. Sometimes I wonder what it could have been like if I chose a different path, but I think the most important question I have to ask myself is if I’m happy I chose this one. And my answer has been, is, and I’d say will continue to be yes, I am most definitely happy here.