Some of my favorite memories are of my friends and I laughing over our icks. I’ve heard it all, ranging from watching a man run in a backpack to hearing a girl blow her nose. I love how random people’s icks are, so here are a few things about people that, for no apparent reason, are an instant deterrent for me.
- Skinny Legs
There’s something about a lack of calves that makes me severely uncomfortable. Why are you shaped like an ice cream cone? If I worry about going on a hike with you because I don’t know how to make a splint for your inevitably shattered shin, then maybe we shouldn’t be talking. Obviously, this is not something people can necessarily control, but I’d prefer to be with someone who has more meat on their bones than I do.
Nothing against anime, but when a guy sits and babbles about anime for more than 30 seconds I immediately focus my attention on the ceiling, my sock falling off in my shoe, or the lines on the floor — literally anything other than the absolute boredom I feel when a man geeks out on a fight scene or how emotional the last episode of “Naruto” was.
- Skate Tricks
This ick is definitely rooted in the regret of spending hours filming my ex-boyfriend doing kickflips, but I cannot stand the sound of clicking skateboards and boys in loose pants trying to do a new trick. Skating as a mode of transportation, like the cute boy I used to see everyday longboarding, is acceptable, but please please please never make me watch you do skate tricks.
- Car Guys
There is nothing more attractive than a revving engine, car photoshoots, and parking lot figure eights with the boys. Just kidding!! I feel like I don’t even need to explain this universal ick because there is no bigger red flag than a man who cares more about his hybrid car than you.
- Snapchat Videos
Contrary to many girls’ opinions, I physically shudder when a guy sends me videos of him talking on Snapchat. The second-hand embarrassment I feel imagining him sitting alone in his room and re-recording the same clip of him saying “So today at basketball practice this guy bumped into me and…” send me into a spiraling fit of disgust. If you want to tell me a long-winded story, call me, send me a voice message, or even send me a telegram before you even think about sending me a video on Snapchat.
No one can convince me to date a man who wrestles. The headgear, the mouthguard, the leotard, the rolling on a mat in front of a crowd of people — all of it makes me uncomfortable. If wrestling uniforms were modified just a little I might consider going to a meet to challenge my own biases, but for now, wrestling is a mega ick for me.
- Grammatical Mistakes
This is probably expected because I’m literally sitting here writing an article, but when a man has poor grammar I will instantly ignore his text. As a college student, and not a third-grader, there is no excuse for mixing up “their”, “they’re”, and “there” and telling me “your cute”. If you failed middle school English class, please never text me.
I remember in high school there was this kid who was always coughing and I would sit in class imagining throwing a book at his head. He couldn’t help it, but to this day when someone starts uncontrollably coughing, sick or not, I automatically become unattracted to them. Maybe I should start carrying around cough drops for all the Boulder boys with their neverending “frat flu”.
Although I just spent a whole article ranting about the random things that make me unattracted to men, I promise I don’t hate you if any of these icks apply to you. This article is not meant to call out or hurt anyone’s feelings. We all have our icks, and I promise even though you might be an anime fan with poor grammar skills and a car as your phone background, there is someone out there who will find these things endearing.