In elementary school, I took Valentine’s Day very seriously. It was the one chance to connect with your classmates on a ‘more than friends’ level, although none of us knew nor were interested in romantic relationships back then. Still, each year, I had my eye on a new boy in class and hoped that I would get a special valentine from them.
At my school, everyone had to make a container for others to put valentines in. They could be personal notes to each classmate or just a general message with some candy attached. Most people went the general route, but everyone also had one or two special valentines for those special people. Throughout my years, all I wanted was one of those special valentines in my box.
There were three different boys across three years that I was expecting to get a special valentine from. The first was in second grade, and I remember writing him the nicest note about how good of a friend he was. We were friends and talked often, so I thought I had a relatively good chance. The second was in third grade, and we spent a lot of time together since we sat next to each other for most of the year. He was also a year older than me, and I thought that was so cool since back then age equated to coolness. Lastly, the third boy was in fourth grade, and although we didn’t talk much to each other, I felt that there was something between us. You know, as much as a 10-year-old can have a hunch about these things.
Did I get a special valentine from any of those boys? Nope.
For three years, I held my hopes up high and then was thrown into a wave of disappointment for days after the initial exchange. Being the vain kid I was, I was very self-serving and thought that I was the center of everyone’s universe and it caught me off guard when I realized I wasn’t.
Am I saying that I now hate Valentine’s Day because of these small and mostly unmeaningful incidents from over nine years ago? Kind of. I personally think that Valentine’s Day is just a scheme of capitalism for consumers to go out and buy things, and I think that every day should be a day of appreciation for someone you love (I will admit, however, that I love the Reese’s Hearts). These opinions have added to my experiences in elementary school to create a mostly unfavorable view of the holiday.
Who knows, maybe things will change as I get older or have a significant other to spend the day with. But for now, I will hold onto the longing for a little personalized valentine from the boys I liked.