Male sexual privilege is the ability to walk down the street at night without fear. It is not finding your heart start to race when walking alone past a group of men. It is moving through life with little fear that one day you might be raped. The humiliation of slut-shaming does not exist in their world. Never will a man have to experience the shame society makes women feel for her own sexuality; instead his is applauded.
Men are not burdened with an unborn baby if an accidental pregnancy occurs because their ability to walk away is not politicized. Men in the U.S. as well as many other cultures across the globe experience male sexual privilege on a daily basis, yet most do not realize how much easier their lives are for it. It is time for men to start acknowledging their privilege and joining the fight for equality.
Men often receive praise for higher numbers, sexual partners, promoting a linkage between sex and manhood.
In contrast, women experience a push for monogamous relationships and are shamed for having multiple sexual partners or ‘sleeping around.’ Similar sexual behaviors have been stigmatized for one gender but not the other, giving males more sexual freedom within society. One study actually measured peer acceptance in correlation to the number of sexual partners and gender. The researchers found that “the association between lifetime sexual partnerships and peer status varies significantly by gender, such that greater numbers of sexual partners are positively correlated with boys’ peer acceptance but negatively correlated with girls’ peer acceptance”.
While this sexist double standard is extremely prevalent in American society, it is also deeply engraved in other cultures around the world. For example, in Uganda, cultural values allow males to have many sexual partners while females have to remain monogamous. Even when married, polygamous male tendencies are completely normalized; however, if a woman had sexual relations with another man it was considered extremely unorthodox. Male sexual privilege comes in many forms, but their freedom to express sexuality in cultures across the world is not an entitlement that most women have.
When walking down a dark and empty street at night, men do not have to hold their keys in their fists or have one hand on a bottle of pepper spray in their purses in fear of being sexually assaulted.
One in five women is raped at some point in their lifetime compared to one in 71 men. As a female, this statistic is terrifying. Women are taught we must constantly protect ourselves. One should not wear clothes that are too revealing, otherwise, a man just might not be able to help himself. Do not drink at a party or else a boy might try to drug you, do not walk alone at night, do not get too flirty with a man or he might take it the wrong way, always have pepper spray or a rape whistle on hand, etc. Men are not always taught to respect women and follow consent, while women are being taught that it is their fault. Women not only have to carry around the trauma of sexual violence but also the blame for it.
Male sexual privilege is having the luxury of walking away from an accidental pregnancy.
They do not have to agonize over whether to keep the baby or abort it. Men do not have to walk past the pro-life protesters in front of abortion clinics if they decide they do not want to raise a child. Men can simply choose whether they want to stay or walk away. While there are many men who would take their responsibilities seriously when an accidental pregnancy occurs, it is a privilege that their decision is not politicized. Abortion rights are at the core of many partisan conflicts in the government and many communities. This conflict makes a women’s decision about keeping a child a much more contentious issue than a man deciding he wants no part of a child’s life.
Male sexual privilege is men in Congress and the courts deciding female reproductive rights, as if somehow, they could understand.
Men are not responsible for birth control aside from condoms. Women endure the sometimes-extreme side effects of the pill or getting an IUD inserted into their uterus. In contrast, a male birth control study was immediately halted when men started complaining of similar side effects. The drug proved to be very effective when it came to preventing pregnancies, however, caused acne and mood swings in many of the participants. Women have been living with the side effects of the pill such as acne, weight gain, and mood swings, as well as an increased chance of developing blood clots, for decades now, but this was considered unacceptable to men. The reason for this may be that “when women use a contraceptive, they’re balancing the risks of the drug against the risks of getting pregnant. And pregnancy itself carries risks. But these are healthy men — they’re not going to suffer any risks if they get somebody else pregnant.” The ability of men to experience sex without also experiencing the side effects of birth control is a sexual privilege.
While not all men are oblivious to this privilege, it is important that males recognize this in the same sense that white people need to recognize their privilege, or wealthy individuals theirs. This is a problem that plagues many cultures across the globe–it presents itself in much more subtle forms then obvious sexism, such as the pay gap, but it is equally vital in the progress towards equality.
Citations
Kreager, Derek A, and Jeremy Staff. “THE SEXUAL DOUBLE STANDARD AND ADOLESCENT PEER ACCEPTANCE” Social psychology quarterly vol. 72,2 (2009): 143-164.
Wyrod, Robert. AIDS and Masculinity in the African City: Privilege, Inequality, and Modern Manhood. University of California Press, 2016.
Black, M.C., Basile, K.C., Breiding, M.J., Smith, S.G., Walters, M.L., Merrick, M.T., Chen, J., & Stevens, M.R. (2011). The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS): 2010.
Summary Report.Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2011.
Staff, NPR. “Male Birth Control Study Killed After Men Report Side Effects.” NPR, NPR, 3 Nov. 2016.
Colorado Women’s Health. “Blood Clots & Birth Control | University of Colorado Ob/Gyn.” University of Colorado OB/GYN & Family Planning.