I recently finished the TV show Girls, and I was sceptical at first. Girls is the epitome of the “millennial optimism” era everyone’s been raving about. Since I’m not a millennial, I didn’t know whether the show or its messages would resonate with me. After all, generations change, and so do the issues we face. I had always thought of myself as the erratic, manic-pixie dream girl we all want to be. Someone messy and all over the place. Then I watched Girls and realized maybe I’m a Marnie.
Girls, created by Lena Dunham in 2012, centers around four young women in their 20s living in New York (I think I’ve seen this film before): Hannah, Jessa, Shoshanna, and Marnie. Hannah is the messy, central protagonist who does a lot of things you hate and then hate yourself for because you see part of yourself in her. Jessa is the classic free-spirited, self-destructive, boho-chic British gal. She is quick to keep others in check but not herself. Shoshanna is still in college at the beginning of the show, and her ambition grows when she graduates.
Marnie, in the gentlest terms, is just as hot a mess as the rest. She builds much of her personality around wanting to be better off than her peers, both personally and professionally. She is organized chaos and, for much of the show, puts up a front that she has it all figured out. Marnie didn’t speak out to me at first. I actually didn’t like her one bit. She is often self-centred and micromanages her friends, mistaking it for caring. It wasn’t until she famously said, “I just wish someone would tell me, like, ‘This is how the rest of your life should look.’” I dissected that quote for weeks, and it replayed in my head as I tried to figure out what she really meant. I landed on the idea that we often say we wish someone would tell us what our future will look like. But we rarely ask people what it should look like. She spoke a truth I have been trying to find the words to express.
Marnie is so overly concerned with doing everything right and what she thinks others will approve of. This ultimately contributes to her downfall in the later seasons. She is like a captain with no compass, wanting to give orders but not actually knowing what to do. Hm…sounds familiar. This hard exterior she portrays bleeds into her relationships, and it isn’t until season 3 that she reaches her breaking point. She and her boyfriend break up; she loses her job and works as a hostess. She continues as an amateur singer throughout the rest of the show with her husband, Desi.
In the highest-rated episode of Girls, “The Panic in Central Park”, Marnie and Desi have marriage troubles, and she later accidentally reunites with her ex. They go on an insane journey in one night and old feelings resurface. But Marnie knows better and ends the affair before it goes any further. Marnie has a deep-seated need for recognition and acknowledgement from Desi that she doesn’t get the way she wants. She is wise enough to end things with Desi, but later goes back to him. Despite her rational character, Marnie is still searching for love, and her heart, like any girl’s, sometimes takes control. It makes her even more complex and convoluted underneath her strong persona.
This character made me realize that perhaps we aren’t all the main characters. Maybe we aren’t all the eccentric, wild ones that we think we are. Marnie shows me that I’m, without a doubt, the Type A, control-freak, high-strung, hyper-independent character. I crave recognition and understanding like no other and have a competitive edge I can’t help. I contradict myself more than I like to admit. Although Marnie has her moments, she’s generally a determined spirit. She is a girl of many failed dreams that haunt her. Still, she keeps her chin high (maybe sometimes too high) and walks with hope that something better will come. Marnie feels more symbolic to me now, and I see her in other shows — Monica Geller from Friends, Billie Schaeffer from Adulting, Miranda Hobbes from Sex and the City, and the list goes on. I also feel more comfortable with myself and my personality because I resonate with these Marnie archetypes. It is important that shows like Girls represent these kinds of women. They represent girls who are forthright. Girls who simultaneously have it all together and not at all. The ones who make mistakes, have the strength to learn from them, and move on. They represent girls like me who are maybe just a Marnie.