This past January, I moved from Boulder, Colorado to Edinburgh, Scotland for the semester. While I’ve met so many incredible people, seen incredible sights, and gained a new level of independence, I’m now in long distance relationships with my family, my closest friends, and my boyfriend. They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder, which does hold true, but not without the emotional weight.Â
As far as my boyfriend and I, we’ve been together for over a year, and have done long distance for periods in the past. This semester will be the longest stretch of time in which we aren’t able to see each other and hang out all the time. I am lucky enough that he is also studying abroad, so the time difference is reasonable, and we know what works in order to maintain our level of connection while apart. However, it’s never been easy, and a willingness to work for it has been absolutely crucial. I think that’s exactly where the hold-up with long distance comes from – individuals may not understand that it takes an active and conscious effort. That’s also not to say that it’s a strenuous or frustrating effort: but it is an effort at the end of the day.Â
The work to maintain a healthy relationship during periods of distance can come in so many forms depending on communication styles, love languages, and a million other variables.Â
Since moving to separate places for the semester, both me and my boyfriend have had incredibly busy lives: between academics, navigating new countries and culture, trying to build new friendships with those around us, and taking care of our own mental health and wellbeing. However, we’ve found ways to ensure that we know we’re thinking of each other throughout our days. That might take shape in a text saying I spilled my morning coffee on myself, or a photo from him of the hike he went on. It also often takes place in long phone conversations, or completely silent FaceTimes just enjoying each other’s presence. Having a date for when we get to see each other again is also essential, because it gives us something to look forward to amidst the chaos of our everyday lives.
On the other hand, I’m also long distance with all of my closest girlfriends. Some of my friends are also on semesters abroad in Europe, but others are still at home; which means that we have to figure out ways to work around the lengthy time differences. First and foremost, having a date on when I’ll see my friends again is crucial. As it turns out, I’m lucky enough to have friends that are willing to cross oceans to hang out, so I’ll be hosting a couple of my closest friends in a few weeks! In the meantime, I’ll call them while they get ready in the morning, or stay up late to talk when they’re done with their days. Regardless, we all hold such a value to our female friendships, so even when it seems impossible to manage, we always find a way to navigate our days while also making time for each other.
I’m an in-state student at CU Boulder, so I’ve never been away from my family to this extent before. During prior semesters, I could get in my car and drive the hour home to see my parents whenever I wanted to, and I would often go home for weekends where I felt overwhelmed and needed a place away from the chaos to rest and recharge for the next week. I underestimated the impact that not having that as an option would have, and though I’m having the time of my life abroad, I would love to go home for just a few days and take a reprieve from the perpetual business and movement of my days here. Alongside that, the time difference also comes into play, and I don’t have the ability to call my mom whenever I want to, nor does she. It often leads to a lot of accidental calls and texts in the wee hours of each other’s mornings, but we laugh it off.Â
Through spending time apart from my support system, I’ve learned a few things about my relationships and myself: The first is that the right people will always make the time and effort to stay connected, even if it means screwed up sleep schedules, overpriced plane tickets, or days where the only communication lies in silly Instagram reels sent back and forth. The second thing is that having people in my life who are in many places around the world provides me with a much-needed escape from the thrilling and chaotic days of my study abroad semester. I’m able to stay connected to home, but I’m also able to see places I’ve never been, like Switzerland or Italy through the eyes of my favorite people. Lastly, I’ve learned that love is in fact stronger than distance,and distance truly does make the heart grow fonder.Â
I’ve never missed people like this in my life, and I’m counting down the days until I get to see my boyfriend, best friends, and family again. In the meantime, I know that the work put in to maintaining my long distance relationships will be absolutely worth it in the long run.Â