In high school, I was one of those students who was focused on their school work and basically nothing else. I gained satisfaction off of good test scores and reward certificates, and grew up with a friend group that was essentially the same.
That being said, you could say that I was inexperienced sexually coming into college. I went to a small school and none of the guys were attractive to me. I had never been in a relationship ever, and having sex was never in the realm of possibility for me. Hell, I hadn’t even had my first kiss yet.
I’m not a believer in the saying that college changes people, but I will say that the freedom from my parents and new influences definitely changed my behavior in college rather than my personality. Suddenly I had access to frat parties and alcohol and most of all: a plethora of new guys.
Losing your virginity is a big deal, not because of the shame or achievement that the media acts like it is, but it’s the first of an intimate moment with someone. In my experience, I felt comfortable. I finally understood why people liked having sex, when previously I honestly thought I was asexual since it seemed unappealing from the outside. Once I was in a situation where things started to heat up, however, it made a lot of sense.
Having sex should be fun and enjoyable for both partners involved. Most of all, there shouldn’t be any pressure whatsoever to lose your virginity or any stigma around it either, like mainstream media often shows in movies, television, or on social media. I know coming into college or even leaving high school, I felt inferior because I hadn’t ‘done anything’ yet. Luckily, I waited until what felt like the right moment instead of doing something that I would end up regretting. Pressure to have sex only creates more dire situations that could end up unpleasant. For your first time, and every time after that, it should all be completely under your control. That is the big deal, and that’s why it matters.
Whether you’ve lost your virginity or are waiting for the right time or are completely appalled by the idea (which is completely fine too!), remember that in a moment as special and as intimate as sex, you deserve the experience you want out of it, and no one should interfere.