All my life, I’ve always been single. I never knew what it was like to experience dating someone, let alone having a long term crush.
Now, you may be wondering, “Was it because nobody was interesting enough?”
Maybe.
“Or maybe nobody was interested in you?”
Well…possibly. I can’t read every person’s mind, though.
“Or did your parents not allow you to date until a certain age?”
Exactly.
They never specified at what age I was permitted to do so, but my parents certainly did not let me date when I was in high school. That was because they wanted me to concentrate on my studies. “And besides,” they’d tell me, “you have your friends, right?”
Don’t get me wrong, though; I definitely cared about academics and cherished my time with my friends, but there were moments when I couldn’t help but feel curious whenever my classmates, and, yes, even my own friends, would get asked out to Homecoming, Prom, and other school dances.
I always imagined putting myself in their shoes, thinking about the different emotions they’d feel whenever they’re around one another; perhaps whenever they walk to class together, or when they’re slow dancing to a love song.
Whichever way I imagined it, I just wanted to know what love felt like, and why so many people desire it.
Okay. All of that might’ve sounded cheesy to you, but those were the thoughts I had when I was younger.
As a college student, my perspective on love is completely different now. Throughout my high school years (and earlier years as well), I was able to gain a clearer understanding of the basics of love, like relationships, breakups, and whatnot. Most of all, I learned that being single all my life is actually not bad at all.
First, being single taught me how to be more independent. When I was younger, I almost always felt doubtful about every major decision I made, and I couldn’t finalize them without the support of someone else, whether it was my friend or a family member. As I grew up, I realized that all this support won’t always be there for me, not even from a relationship, and that one day, I’ll have to face everything alone. So, I held true to that, and nowadays, I guess I can say I feel confident about most of the choices I make.
Second, it made me appreciate my family and friends at a deeper level. If I were ever in a relationship, I probably would’ve had to jostle on who to spend time with, and it might’ve even caused some tension between all of us. Knowing myself, I get easily confused on who or what to prioritize if there is too much going on. So I’m just thankful that I’m able to focus on my friends and family, and that my relationship with them is as strong as ever.
Finally, I learned how to love myself even more. While it’s true that you need to love those around you, it’s also equally important to love yourself. Back then, I used to put everyone ahead of me. It seemed almost sacrificial, but I did that because I usually didn’t feel confident in myself. However, many people reminded me that I matter and that I deserve to appreciate who I am. So as I grew older, I began to embrace even the smallest things about myself, one by one. Throughout this journey of self-love, I learned that all you need is to reflect on yourself, and no one else, to realize just how amazing you are.
With Valentine’s season in full swing, it’s easy to feel pressured to fall in love. However, for now, I’m fully content with my current relationship status. Whether you’re single or taken, just remember that both of them have their benefits. Whichever path life takes you, I hope you can continue to be happy, and realize that love is all around you, in case you need it.