When I was 6, my room was drenched in the color pink. My walls were pink, my clothes were pink, my Crocs were pink. I was sitting in a circle with the rest of my first grade class, doing an ice breaker. We were supposed to say our name and our favorite color. When it got to my turn I said, “blue.”
This wasn’t the first nor the last time I would have to mold myself into new forms to avoid getting teased for my gender. I was influenced from a very young age by movies, TV commercials, and my peers, all shaping my idea of what a girl was supposed to be. Girls couldn’t be the fastest in the grade, they all liked pink and only played with dolls. It isn’t a unique experience to be pushed into the box of society’s idea of what a girl or woman should be. Today, I fully embrace being the woman I want to be without any guidelines. I follow some stereotypes and defy others, either way it doesn’t matter to me. Now I am able to look back at the unique experiences granted to me by being a part of girlhood fondly, and if there’s a pink option, you can best believe I’m choosing that one.
Throughout my life I have been put into many different boxes for liking the things I like. If I listen to Ariana Grande, I’m basic; if I listen to Deftones, I’m “performative.” I’ve been called both an airhead and a nerd. I’ve been called unathletic, and a tryhard. Men have tried to make me feel small and unworthy for as long as I can remember, and I know this isn’t an original experience. Being assigned an identity is the reality for so many women. As I’ve grown older I’ve realized the strength it takes to choose and grow into your own identity, and the power it gives you. The change I had to make was to stop internalizing the things that were said to me, and live how I wanted to. This is easier said than done, but I also have to give credit to how the media has shifted to empower women over the past few years as I’ve grown older.Â
In 2020 — this was the first time I was exposed to women empowerment online — I was 14. Riot Grrrl music infiltrated my For You page, and I read my first piece of feminist literature, Girl, Interrupted. I was an angsty teenager who had finally found a piece of the internet made for me and others alike. This “girlification” of the internet continued as I grew older, with the reclamation of many stereotypes, such as “bimbo” and “Barbie.” There are many different sides to the internet, and I know that it’s far from perfect, but luckily the side I landed on as a teenager has pushed me to be whoever I want without fear. From a young age girls are conditioned to live for men, and I’m glad the agenda is changing, as slowly as it is.Â
Girlhood to me is the mess after getting ready with all your friends, makeup bags spilling onto the counter with the speaker blasting. It’s complimenting a stranger’s outfit and them telling you all the details with no hesitation. It’s giving your friend that look when a man makes an ignorant comment. It’s bonding over the new Sabrina Carpenter album or the TimothĂ©e Chalamet controversy (ew). It’s spending your adult money on Calico Critters and other trinkets even though you probably shouldn’t. It’s defending Belly throughout The Summer I Turned Pretty no matter how questionable her decision making skills were. Girlhood being included in the biggest inside joke and getting to share that with your mom, your best friends, and strangers on the street.Â
My 20th birthday has recently passed, and instead of being scared to age, I’m excited to experience all the things that womanhood has to offer me. I appreciate all the female artists I grew up listening to that were great role models. I appreciate the female authors that inspire me to write and push me to pursue my future career goals. I am grateful to my Oma for instilling a love for writing in me when I was little. My mom created a space for me where I could grow and create, and do anything I dreamed of. I am a collage of every woman I’ve ever loved, and I’m so happy to be shaped by them into the woman I am today. We deserve all the flowers this International Women’s Month.