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The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at CU Boulder chapter.

Sex positivity. It is a term we hear all the time and it means something a little different to everyone. To me, it’s empowerment, self-love, and it’s deeply rooted in my mental health. What sex positivity means to me aligns with ShaggBox’s view of sex positivity, and working with this amazing company throughout my time here at Her Campus CU Boulder has largely contributed to me becoming sexually liberated.

My Background

My upbringing was one where sex was taboo, and I was taught that if I was going to have sex it should be with the person I was going to marry. I was also taught that it was wrong to talk about these things, that it was for you and you only.

As I got older, I became scared to even talk to people I was attracted to, because I knew that eventually they’d tried to sleep with me, and that topic was something that not only I viewed as wrong, but I had so strongly internalized that it was wrong for me to want it, so I chose to avoid people completely.

My internalized fears didn’t just impact my communication with people I liked, or even loved. They also led me to tear myself down. They led me to feel like I had to look a certain way, dress a certain way, and like every bit of me that didn’t conform to this norm was wrong, ugly, and unworthy. I felt like I had to uphold this view of sex, and because it wasn’t common to view it this way, that I was unworthy of any form of intimate connection.


Fast forward to college, when I joined HCCU. I remember when the executive team announced a partnership with ShaggBox. They then posted a giveaway, and it was shocking to me how comfortable everyone was talking about these things. Vibrators, sex, self-love. I remember asking myself how they were so open about it.

Then I asked myself, how am I not? Why am I not? I did some online shopping. After picking out a toy that I thought seemed simple enough, discreet enough, I got to, ahem, work. I’d only ever masturbated a few times before. Whether out of fear, internalized emotions, whatever it was, it was something I just didn’t do. 

Not long after, my entire mindset began to unravel. I followed ShaggBox on Instagram. Their posts about so many things, but particularly their ones about self-love, slowly began to restructure my view on sex, on intimacy, and most importantly on loving myself for all that I am– for who I truly am. 

A few months later my high school crush texted me. For the first time, I felt receptive to this connection, and agreed to hang out with him. One thing led to another, and we had sex. I was having sex, for the first time. It was definitely not how I expected to, but that didn’t matter, because I was okay with it. I was happy with it.

I noticed, however, that while having sex, I was so afraid to be myself, to show myself. I didn’t want to feel exposed, I felt like I would be judged. I once again asked myself why? I then did something I never had– I reached out to a friend. I told her what happened, without fear or shame. Guess what I did? I asked myself how I’d gotten here.

After a much needed talk, and reflection as to just how much my worldview had changed, I was determined to have a healthy sex life. To do that, I had to change the way I saw myself. I needed to learn to truly love myself. 


So, I did more online shopping. By this time, Valentine’s Day was rolling around and we were once again partnering with ShaggBox. I decided that I would dedicate this holiday to showing myself love, and I did that by buying myself my first set of lingerie.

I stared, and stared, and stared at myself in the mirror. It took me two hours. Then, I finally landed on one thing I truly loved about myself. The next day, I decided to look at myself in the mirror, this time without lingerie. Then again. Over the course of the next year, it got easier. I was pointing out more and more things I genuinely loved.

As I became more confident, I began exploring more. I experimented with myself, with toys, with people. As time has passed, my views on sex have become more and more open – something that all began with ShaggBox. I began to feel empowered through my sexual experiences, both with myself and others.

This was all thanks to a partnership with a magazine I chose to join freshman year, and I truly cannot imagine what my life would look like today if I hadn’t discovered ShaggBox – thank you ShaggBox! For more HCCU x ShaggBox content go here, here, or here.

Content written by various anonymous CU Boulder writers