Calm down. It’s not that serious. You’re overreacting. Be quiet. You’re so dramatic.
As a woman, I’ve heard these phrases far too many times. I heard them whether I was speaking on a political issue I was passionate about, or simply being upset about something. I have never been described as a soft-spoken, quiet, and docile person. Ever since I was a kid, I was full of anger and passion. When I am hurt, betrayed, used, or treated with disrespect, anger is my first emotion and it consumes my entire being. I tried using this anger to be productive, whether that was planning protests or standing up for what I believed in. However, it took years and many therapy sessions to learn how to make my anger productive instead of letting it brew inside of me. When I was in an abusive relationship, I wasn’t allowed to be angry as it would compromise my safety. In my long-term relationship, that rage seemed to take the back burner and I lost the fiery, feisty side of me due to being consumed by love. It wasn’t until my long-term relationship ended that the rage came to light. But this time, it seemed like I was not the only one discovering this hidden female rage.
In the last couple of years, there has been an influx of media that has shown women embracing their anger, and not in the quiet and docile way that is expected. We have the blatant form of anger, and yelling. There’s Mia Goth screaming “But I’m a star” in the 2022 movie, Pearl. In the hit blockbuster, Don’t Worry Darling, Florence Pugh has a monologue where she screams at her husband for taking away her life. In HBO’s hit series, Euphoria, we see the two main characters, Cassie and Maddie, engage in numerous screaming matches that at times turn violent. These outspoken and loud displays of anger are important to breaking the sexist stereotype that women must carry their anger silently and delicately. Sure, yelling and violence aren’t the healthiest ways to cope with your anger. But, by showing these women screaming, it empowers women to use their voice, stand up for themselves and break free of a sexist patriarchal standard.
Along with blockbuster movies, female rage has been present in the music industry long before most of us can remember. Whether it’s subtle like in Nancy Sinatra’s “These Boots Were Made for Walking” or petty like Gwen Stefani’s “Just a Girl”, anger has always existed in songs written by women, and more specifically, anger that is not related to romantic love. However, this genre of music hasn’t always been as celebrated or praised as it has been recently. It seems that these artists are becoming more comfortable with calling out the patriarchy in their music. For example, Taylor Swift never used her music to speak on political or societal issues until the release of “The Man” and “You Need to Calm Down”, which directly comment on sexism and homophobia. Most recently, there was Olivia Rodrigo’s release of her album “GUTS”. Her song “get him back!” shows the duality of hate/love while also displaying all the violent things she wants to do to get her ex back like “kissing his face with an uppercut.” But, in my opinion, her song “all american bitch” is what perfectly encompasses the feeling of being in your late teens-early 20s and constantly feeling the pressure of society. The song has almost a minute of her screaming, followed by an angelic repetition of “I’m grateful all the time.” This specific section of the song blew up on TikTok, creating a trend where women sang along with things they were tired of hearing, such as “you should smile more” or “were you asking for it?” This helped start a trend of normalizing and celebrating women’s anger.
“GUTS” was the album that helped awaken the feistiness I have always had in me but hadn’t seen in quite some time. Along with this album, seeing “Barbie” made me realize how much power and strength I have as a woman. It made me realize how important it is to be angry sometimes, especially as a woman. Being feisty has helped me call out creepy men on Tinder or set clear boundaries in my romantic life. It’s made me use my voice in situations where I feel hurt or disrespected. But it has also made me a better advocate, breaking the stereotype that women need to be delicate and soft in order to be heard. Celebrating and encouraging female rage (that is shown in a healthy manner) is important to challenging the patriarchy and raising women to be outspoken and tough.