I played basketball my entire life; my freshman year of college was the first time in my life I didn’t have a constant basketball season taking up all my free time. So, for a person like me, the other two options to play are intramural games or to pick up games at the rec center. I joined a random intramural team, and it was so fun to play in a relaxed but still competitive environment. It was a co-ed league, so there was a requirement of 2 girls on the court at all times, or 4 total with both teams. Mia was the other girl on my team, and not to brag, but she and I were probably close to the best on our team. This requirement of 2 girls was hard to fulfill for some teams, so a lot of the times, the girls had never played before and were not very good. Regardless, every single time without fail, Mia and I were told to guard the other girls, even if there were boys that would have matched their skill levels better.
I’ve played multiple intramural seasons, and this has happened every single game. One season, I played in a league where it was not required to have girls on the team, so naturally, I was the only girl in the entire league. But still, my team also placed me to defend the worst guy on the team, even though I wasn’t the worst defender on the team. When you enter a basketball game, no matter what level of play it is, if you are playing man defense, then it should be according to skill level. I will say some of the guys on these teams were extremely strong and it wouldn’t have been effective to have me guard them because they would just bulldoze through me. This isn’t even because I am a girl, it is because I have almost no muscle in my body and am as weak as a baby chicken.
Playing these organized games through intramural is actually 10,000 times more equal than trying to play pick-up at the rec. With pick up basketball, it is just five on five. The two teams play to fifteen, counting the baskets by ones and twos. At the rec, there are three courts that have a very clear hierarchy. The court closest to the rock climbing wall has the “best” games, and the one closest to the ice rink are the “worst” games. The middle court is just that: the middle. I usually try to play on the middle court while occasionally playing on the other two. On average, I would say when I go I am the only girl there and sometimes there’s another girl. There are about 3 girls, including myself, that play there on a regular basis.
My friends that are guys will just go into the rec alone and start playing with a random team. I do not have this luxury because I am a girl. These guys see me, and even if they are desperate for a person to join their team, they won’t even make eye contact with me. I am seen as inferior to them, even if they are doing it unconsciously. So, when I do finally make it on a team, for which I usually have to wait about an hour to join a team that will actually accept me as a player, no one will pass me the ball. I’ve gone a whole game only touching the ball at my own doing —never one of my teammates passing it to me. One time, I even got in a yelling match with one of my teammates about it before I stormed out of the rec and cried on my way home.
So, when the rare occasion does happen with a team that passes me the ball, their low expectations for me show very easily. When I make a three for example, the entire court and sidelines erupt in cheers and amazement. And, if anyone knows anything about basketball, making a three is nothing that exciting. It is just that they had such low expectations that they were astounded that I could do anything remotely skilled. This doesn’t just happen when I make a three; it’s when I make a good pass, get a steal, and even something as little as getting a rebound. On the other hand, when a man goes up and does a powerful dunk, there is minimal reaction, even though this is an impressive thing to do, especially during a pick up game. One time, I was playing with a group of my friends, and we kept losing. In response, I came up with a small fix in the way we were playing that I knew would make us play better. But of course, no one listened to me. One game later, one of the guys on my team, almost word for word, said the exact thing I had said. Everyone listened; we started to do it and started to win. It is like when I enter the court, my voice becomes invisible. The players on the court keep track of the score of the games, and sometimes I have to ask my teammates to ask what the score is because I say it and no one responds.
There is also the problem with defense. Whenever I am guarding a guy, they will not do anything on offense except for shoot. My best guess for this reason is because they do not want to touch me, even though we are playing a contact sport. I watch these guys play in other games, and they’re doing hard cuts to the lanes or boxing out for rebounds. When it comes to me, they stay locked in the perimeter without laying a hand on me. I’ve had this happen with one of my really good friends who I have talked to about this exact issue. It is an unconscious act, and I do recognize that on a certain level. When I play against girls, I rarely drive into the lane;I mainly shoot. But when I play against boys, the lane is always open for me. This is because it is almost like the defense gets out of my way. It is like I am parting the Red Sea when the ball is in my hands. It is almost like since I was born with boobs my body is sacred and no one can touch me. Also, when there is a rare occasion of someone being even an ounce aggressive with me, they start apologizing profusely. Like, you elbowed my arm in the middle of an intense basketball game; that doesn’t require an apology. I’ve seen guys make other guys’ noses bleed without an apology.
The other day, I went to the rec alone and was walking around desperately trying to join someone’s team. This guy said he hasn’t seen me at the rec before and introduced himself. After talking for a bit, he asked me if I had ever played there before. I replied and said this is my 3rd year coming here and playing on a regular basis. He then proceeded to tell me how the culture is very sexist and how I won’t be able to play on the “best” court. I responded by telling him that I have played on the court before. Again, he continued on telling me how the pick up process works and how the courts are labeled. It was such an intense example of mansplaining. What more could I have said that would make him understand that I know how pick up at the rec works and that I do not need his help? As I was walking away, he said that he could tell that I was a hooper by my “outfit”. The outfit he is talking about was basketball shorts and a shirt, aka what every other person in the gym was wearing. I went up to my guy friend and told him about this interaction and he said “no, that guy is the nicest dude ever.” Clearly not to women — but he didn’t understand that. Lastly, as I started to play against this same man, he referred to me as “m’lady”, in the middle of a basketball game where I was surrounded by men. This was belittling and gross.
Being a woman is hard. Being a woman in sports is hard. Being a girl trying her best to keep basketball a part of her life is hard. America Ferrera couldn’t have said it any better.
These are the patterns and behaviors that our society has shaped and are continuing to shape. Maybe this is my sociology brain talking, but our structures and systems are what cause these small individual interactions to happen. We need to work on the big things like having women be represented equally to men in order to make the small things like interactions on a personal level better for women and for everyone.