If you have been cheated on and still went back, this is probably a sentence you’re familiar with. I know the sentence and I’ll probably know it all my life, because I believe in second chances.
I recently just got out of a relationship with what I would consider my first love. This love was immature and difficult, but at the same time, electric and beautiful. I have never felt the way I felt for him, so, when he cheated on me, I was lost. So much of me wanted to leave, choose my dignity, and never see him again. However, an even bigger part wanted to stay, work it out, and give him a second chance. So, that’s exactly what I did.
Unfortunately, it ended the same way — he cheated again.
Now, you probably expect a story revolving around the fact that second chances are a waste of time and that if they did it once they will do it again. While I can’t argue with the fact that if I had left the first time, then this wouldn’t have happened, I can argue my truth in that I am glad I gave him another chance.
This article is for those who feel defeated, dumb, and regretful of giving someone another chance just to end up hurt again.
If I left the first time, then all the memories made, jokes laughed at, and love shared would have never existed. The sleepovers, family dinners, letters written, slow dances, dreams talked about, and overall, the teenage movie love I had once wished for would have never come true. To me, the thought of that saddens me more than the betrayal I had received.
Also, if they still hurt you after you showed them grace the first time, they most likely are struggling with something way beyond you. The lack of loyalty has nothing to do with you and everything with them. It is not your job to fix someone else’s insecurity and a constant need for validation. However, you can still love them. I believe that my ex needed the love I gave him, and even though he still hurt me, I will never regret loving him.
What I want you to understand is that the love you give and show others is never a waste. Even if you feel stupid in giving that second chance or you’re annoyed that they hurt you again, at the end of the day, you showed that person love. You did exactly what we are called to do in this world: love one another.
It’s up to you whether you give someone a second chance or not — I don’t want to be the one that decides that for you. But in the case that you do, and things don’t play out the right way, don’t let it overcome you.
It’s always better to love, than to not love at all.