Domestic Violence is a social plague that effects people from every gender, age group, and economic background. To spread awareness of the issue, October is celebrated as Domestic Violence Awareness Month to help start the conversation on how to stop this social epidemic and break the cycle of abuse.
One 1 out of 4 women and 1 out of 7 men in the United States will personally experience domestic violence or sexual assault in their lifetime. According to the White Ribbon Association of Australia, 1 out of 4 children will be exposed to domestic violence. Because the issue can be uncomfortable for some people, especially survivors, the topic is often brushed aside and isn’t usually brought up in everyday conversation.
Courtney Barstad Logan is a public speaker and event planner who works with various organizations including the One Love Foundation. She recently spoke to a group of sorority women at the University of Colorado Boulder on the topic of domestic violence awareness and signs of domestic abuse within a relationship. She also presented information on how to take charge and help a friend that might involved in an unhealthy relationship. The program was presented by One Love Foundation was called “Let’s Talk Love” and partnered with the Alpha Chi Omega foundation to educate college women on healthy relationships.
Since the signs of sexual violence and intimate partner abuse aren’t always easy to see, it can be difficult for victims to get the proper help they need. It is also important to note that intimate partner abuse is not always violent. In fact, psychological and emotional abuse is much more prevalent and easy to hide.
A few reasons that people might be hesitant to get help or leave their abusive partner include the feeling of hopelessness, financial dependency on their abuser, inability to see the red flags, or even shame about their situation. Logan also mentioned that the longer the person is involved in an unhealthy relationship, the harder it is to get out of the relationship and the worse the abuse may be. Below, is a list of signs that may suggest involvement in an unhappy relationship.
Social Isolation
Another example of unhealthy behavior is isolation of the victim, like not allowing the victim to spend time with friends of family and limiting the time allotted to seeing other import people in their lives. This is a form of control over the victim.
Financial Control:
Later in an unhealthy relationship, other signs might be financial control. An example of this might be when a partner forces their victim to join bank accounts, open credit cards, or starts give them an “allowance.” If a victim is financially depended on the abuser, it makes it more difficult for the victim to stand up for themselves and leave an unhealthy relationship.
Jealousy:
Jealousy in a relationship may become unhealthy when the abusive partner becomes obsessive about the where the victim is at all times. Abusers might be extremely critical of their partner’s friends, family, or even coworkers. Often times, the victims give no reason to make their partner jealous.
If you or one of your friends becomes a survivor of domestic violence or sexual assault, it’s important to remember that neither of you are alone and there are plenty options available to get help. 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) is a hotline where survivors can be connected with a trained advocate to help them take the next steps and receive support after a sexual assault or involvement in an abusive relationship. To help comfort a friend who has recently gone though trauma or is involved in an unhealthy relationship, it is most important to be an alley in the situation. Sometimes listening and making sure the survivor is familiar with resources available to them is one of the best ways to help in this situation. It is also very important to never blame the victim or ask questions about why they were even in that situation.