It is a common thought that it is difficult to find privacy when you are living in college dorms. Even if you are alone in your room, your roommate could walk in any second. In most cases, if you are taking a shower or using the bathroom, there is a person in the stall next to you or there is a chance that someone will walk in. When you are not in the dorm, you are in class or the dining hall with lots of other students. There is not a single spot on campus that is completely private.
I found this very difficult during my freshman year. I loved my roommate and had no problems with her, but everyone needed a break to be alone. I am the kind of person who especially needs this because I have a low social battery that needs to be recharged often. There were many times when I found myself yearning for even an hour of uninterrupted private time with no fear of someone entering the room. This took a hit to my mental health.
Freshman year is hard enough inherently. It was the first time I had ever been away from my family, and it was even more difficult because they were over 900 miles away. I came from a town where I stood out like a sore thumb. This had its positives and negatives. It was empowering being so different from the majority. However, when I came to Colorado I was just like everybody else. This was one of the main reasons why I chose to move here. So, it was very unexpected that it was so hard for me to adjust to blending in with the masses. Then, it comes to having the pressure of seizing the opportunity that freshman year gives you. Any person you talk to about being a freshman says “You are so lucky,” “I wish I could go back,” “Don’t waste it,” etc.. Hearing these types of things is very intimidating and it can be stressful always trying to make the most of your time. Also, with all of these things, there is the fact of having to go out of your comfort zone and make an entire group of friends that you are supposed to love for the rest of your life.
My experience with the lack of privacy was draining. I lived on the third floor of Hallett Hall here at CU Boulder and I took the elevator every day, even though it was only three floors and the elevator took forever to come down. Taking the elevator was the only time I felt truly alone during my entire freshman year. I would feel a weight lifted off of my chest and would find myself keeling over and close to tears. It was an overwhelming feeling that I didn’t know I was harboring. I felt a mix of relief that I finally had gotten some peace coupled with the fear of being alone with myself because that meant I had to think the thoughts that I was hiding away. I am in my third year at CU now, and sometimes when I find myself in an elevator alone I reflect on my freshman year and think about how far I’ve come as a person. Places, smells, objects, and many more things can lead to unexpected areas of thought and can remind you of who you used to be as well as who you want to become. For me, elevators will invoke these memories from my freshman year.