The Oscars has some iconic looks (and moments) that not many people will ever be able to forget. So, we thought that insight from people who don’t have the best judgment when it comes to outfits would be a fun point of view to take on.
Megan Thee Stallion
Megan Thee Stallion proved to be THEE moment at the 2022 Oscars in this blue dress. I mean come on, look at her! I literally would kiss the ground this woman walks on. The tight fit at the top fades into a loose and flowy look at the bottom which emphasizes her body but also promotes a free and airy look that makes the dress feel magical. The color is incredible and the sheerness of the fabric in some areas makes her look like a fairy, and I’m rocking with it. Her hair is also slicked down to her head and the blue and flow of the dress makes her look like she’s embodying a calm ocean, peaceful and powerful. Basically, I will never look this good at any point in my life, but I do not care because she looks so damn fine and it makes me forget that I will never live up to this.
Rating: 11/10 (Hit me with your car, I’m not playing)
Anya Taylor Joy
I’m literally so biased because I am in love with her, but I feel like I don’t even need to say anything about this because we already know it’s a 10/10. The black dress, the bold lip, and the light hair and eyebrows makes the whole essence of the look incredibly powerful. We also need to take a second to address how amazing the sheer fabric looks in addition to the boldness of the rest of the outfit because it’s a contradiction that creates texture and grabs the eye’s attention. She may slightly look like she’s attending a funeral, but if she was, it would be the funeral of her sugar daddy who’s leaving his fortune so I’m still living for it. I just want this woman to demolish me in chess like the Queen’s Gambit because at least I got to be in her presence.
Rating: 10/10 (Funeral chique)
Julia Fox
Hey Julia, we know you were Josh Safdies muse in “Uncut Gems”, but that does not give this look an excuse. The idea is brilliant; I actually think if it was executed a bit better, it could have been an awesome look. The hand gripping the throat is something I don’t think I’ve ever seen and the all-black could have made you look powerful. HOWEVER, the dress did not fit right at all. I don’t know what your seamstress (is that even what they’re called?) was thinking, but it is so baggy. Also, we definitely need to address the clutch. First of all, who carries clutches on the red carpet anymore? What the hell are you carrying around with you that someone off to the side can’t carry? Second, what the hell is that clutch? Furry? Why furry? I feel like I would have been picking hair off my dress all night. And the makeup… I know you did it yourself (and I certainly could not have done better so I honestly understand), but come on. Again, great idea, strange execution. I think the look could have been really cool on a different face shape (yours is beautiful but doesn’t quite suit it). All in all, I have nothing against you, but I do for sure have something against this outfit.
Rating: 3.5/10 (Choking hazard and your eyes were looking straight into my soul)
Serena and Venus Williams
I am the worst at fashion sense, but I am pretty decent at tennis and these women are such idols to look up to that I feel honored to be able to talk about them even for a second. These ladies ROCKED their looks. I love the white with the metal accent added to the neckline. While the neckline is an interesting shape, she makes it look so flattering! I don’t usually like white because it will always remind me of wedding dresses (and this still does) but it still doesn’t look bad. The pink is honestly my favorite out of the two. I just love the flow and sheerness of the dress with the black on the shoulder/neckline and GLOVES. I don’t know what it is about gloves but anyone who has them makes me feel like they have so much control over their lives or no control at all, there is no in-between. It honestly reminds me of those women who become widows but like for money and look super hot. So in the end, fire fits for these two. They make me want to continue playing tennis- DO NOT get me started on the King Richard movie because, on God, it is so good.
Rating: 12/10 (Please teach me your godly ways)
Donald Glover
Donald Glover is a man I will continue to fear. If I met him I would be too scared to even speak and it has nothing to do with his music, acting, or personality I just get a vibe that he could literally obliterate me with sheer eye contact. His look was serving though. We are so used to seeing men in suits no matter how fabulous (and yes we do get the occasional outliers), but it is nice to see Glover in this new type of outfit that is not normally seen on many. I will say he does look like a guy who likes karate, but he also is pulling it off so well with the detail of the chain and those white shoes. I honestly would thank him if he stepped on me with these shoes. They seem expensive though so I don’t know if he would want to risk stepping on the mere peasant that I am. Also, his baldness with the fit gives me monk vibes but like respectfully, I could see him just like giving me unsolicited advice that could give me great success in my endeavors.
Rating: 13/10 (Troy and Abed in the morning)
Mindy Kaling
I LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE this look, and I’m not even white. As a South Asian this look is so AMAZING. I love the slight touch of cultural representation in the dress. There is a part of the yellow fabric that looks a bit folded and so it reminds of how a Sari is put on. We fold the scarf around and tuck it in. Anyways the representation of this outfit has me thriving, like bro the trailing bit of the yellow fabric makes me feel true feelings of pure bliss like I am truly honored to share this race with THE Mindy Kaling. Her whole fit is iconic from head to toe, and the slit is such a nice elegant touch of normalized eurocentric dresses so the mix is so elegant. Now the silver top is SO needed. The yellow, while bright, is pretty plain and so the silver top being this glittery shimmer piece is so well done and makes the fit go so HARD!
Rating: 15/10 (Desi Core)
Looking at the Oscar looks will always remind me of the Hunger Games but with more drama and less killing. While we aren’t the best judges of style we may still know a bit about what is a yes or no. So, if you disagree with what we have said, that’s ok, because we barely knew anyways (but also you’re wrong).