It’s my birthday later this week. I’ve been an extremely sentimental person since birth, so I thought it would be fitting to explore 20 things I’ve learned in 20 years of life.
- You’re not behind.
If you don’t make it in your teens, you can make it in your twenties. If you don’t make it in your twenties, you can make it in your thirties. If you don’t make it in your thirties, you can make it in your forties. The cool thing about life is that there’s no set path littered with deadlines or milestones you have to hit at a certain age. You have time!
- Home is where the heart is…
To quote Morrissey, “Home: is it just a word? Or is it something you carry within you?” I’ve learned that home is not a physical place; it’s a culmination of every person, thing and feeling I’ve ever loved.
- …and you might feel like a stranger in old ones.
Your twenties are for feeling like a stranger; you’re not a kid anymore, but you sure don’t feel like an adult. It’s okay to sit with this uncomfortable transitional feeling. You’re growing!
- Say what you feel.
Life is short! Tell your friends you love them and advocate for yourself when something isn’t right.
- It’s okay to stay where you are…
After high school, I never felt eager to move away from my hometown without ever looking back on all the people and places and experiences that shaped me; I love going to college close to home, working the same job I’ve had since I was 17 and visiting old friends. I feel at home at home and I know I can still grow in this environment.
- …and it’s also okay to move on.
But I know not everybody feels that way. Sometimes it’s necessary to start over, and you shouldn’t feel guilty for doing so.
- Everyone is a teacher; we can learn something from everyone.
I don’t like the idea of somebody coming into my life for no reason; I believe I’ve learned something from everybody I’ve held close to me. Some were exemplary of the best traits a person can possess, and some were maybe examples of how not to be.
- The world is so big. Stop worrying!
So much of my adolescence was spent worrying, and it’s still something I’m working on, but I’m learning not to stress about things that are out of my control.
- Nature heals.
When I need to make a big decision or put things into perspective, I always like to go outside. There’s lot of ponds on campus I sometimes find myself at, and I also like to lay outside in the sun on my porch or go for walks in the fall.
- The purpose of life is to connect.
Life can be pretty uninspiring without the fleeting moments that unite us. Make art, share art, admire art.
- What you admire in others is already within you.
In my closest friends, I always see thoughtfulness, perseverance and resilience, and I always think, I wish I were more like them. But I’ve come to realize that every little thing that we could possibly adore about somebody else is already alive and breathing inside us! It’s a heartwarming sentiment.
- True confidence is…
True confidence isn’t acting like you don’t care, speaking without a filter or thinking that you’re above everyone else. Confidence is treating everybody like your friend, loving people wholly and openly, and not being afraid to be vulnerable.
- It’s okay to say no.
Setting boundaries is something I got good at this year, and it’s definitely something I’m still mastering. If you don’t want to do something because you know it won’t serve you, it’s okay to say no.
- The best is yet to come.
It’s okay if you’re not in the most ideal position right now. Every day is taking you to a greater place, and there are better things awaiting you than the things you have now.
- We’re all learning.
Everybody is just a kid at their core, trying to navigate this crazy world. Be patient and gentle with people. This is their first time living, too.
- Some things aren’t meant to be forever.
Lots of people left my life this year, and while losing things always makes me sad, I remember that temporary is inevitable. Some people or places are only meant to serve us for a season, and their absence will allow new things to flow in.
- Sometimes you fail.
It took me twenty years to realize this. Failing was simply not something that I did, but this year I failed at a lot of things; I failed my high school self by not getting a 4.0 this term, failed some friends for not being there for them, and failed my current self by forgetting to take care of her sometimes. We fail because we’re human, and we can always bounce back.
- Sensitivity is divinity.
Be proud of your big heart! Cry at movies! Write people letters! Be angry! It’s a key element of the human experience and never something to be ashamed of.
- Listen.
Sometimes the best way you can help somebody is to lend an ear. Every story is a necessary one to be told.
- We are every age we’ve ever been.
When we feel like crying for no reason, it’s because we’re still three; when we catch ourselves feeling irritable and acting unreasonable, it’s because we’re still fifteen, and soon I might still feel lost because I will still be nineteen.