Why I Chose to Stay in a Relationship through College
College is exciting. When I realized I would become a student with freedom beyond imagination. my mind went wild on all the parties, late nights, and fun hookups I would have. But before I knew it, I just HAD to fall for a coworker and decide whether or not he was truly worth the chance. I had always thought I would enter college single and ready to mingle. The last thing I wanted was a serious, time consuming relationship that would restrain me from having the college experience I had always yearned for. Would I have to consult him before every party? Would he get mad if I stayed out too late? Would I miss an opportunity if I hadn’t been with him? Would long distance even be possible between us? These were all questions I had to ask before deciding whether this relationship was just a summer fling or a partnership for the long run.
Reasons raced through my mind as I constantly battled the idea of being linked to someone my Freshman year of college. Would I really risk ruining the new social opportunities of college for some guy I just met a couple months ago? I was scared shitless on what I would do and how we would react. Was I just a fling as well? All I knew was that every single time I imagined the upcoming August without him, my stomach dropped. That’s when I knew I had to make a list. Call it cliche or whatever, but it was the only way to get my mind in check with my feelings.
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Do I see him in my future?
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Are my feelings strong enough?
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Will distance strengthen or weaken our relationship?
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How often would we see each other?
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How long could I see us together?
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Will he take care of my family when I am gone?
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Do I love him?
Ok, so the last couple of questions were a little intense, but I knew if he couldn’t uphold any of these standards, I couldn’t continue our relationship. My family is a huge part of my life and I wouldn’t be there to help my little sister after school and keep my mom company in my spare time. The person I wanted to be with had to love them just as much as I did. But the really difficult question was: Did I truly love him? I can definitely tell you, I had NO IDEA what love was. None of my prior relationships were very stable and I was fresh out of high school. Nothing made sense in my head, but him. I knew he would be my stability in college and in my home. I refused to lower my standards towards him, even if our time together was brief and it was the only reason I knew we could make it.
If you’re questioning your relationship making it through college, understand what you want and how it will benefit. It’s important to focus on you first, never forget that. Don’t try to squeeze hat person in your life goals and future if it doesn’t make sense. Priorities are golden and college is an unforgettable experience. Understand what you want and need, whether it be family, social freedom, academics, etc. Make a list, talk it out, do whatever you need to understand the commitments you are making with your SO. You know yourself better than anybody, so follow your gut and know when you know.