A couple weeks ago, this guy approached me while I was drinking coffee and sat down with me. It should have been my first warning sign that he did not even ask to come sit with me, he just invited himself. However, I am a pretty optimistic person so I gave this person a chance. He seemed like a fairly nice guy just looking for someone to talk to. I made pleasant conversation with him for a few minutes until he eventually put me in the awkward position of asking me for my snapchat. I was not interested in dating/hooking up with this guy, but I figured he seemed nice enough that it wouldn’t hurt to give it to him.
I didn’t see him again for a while, but he would frequently snapchat me, and we had small conversations over text. Then late one Saturday night he started texting me the things that are in my opinion the worst thing a guy can do. He started texting me, “I’m so lonely, please come over.” He said things like, “I hate life right now I am so sad and lonely.” He also said some other self deprecating things that are meant to make me go, “It’s okay! I’ll be there for you,” or “I’m so sorry that you feel that way.”
Guys do this to guilt you into hanging out with them or talking to them, and it’s honestly kind of horrible. I was straight up with this guy. I told him that I was not interested in him or looking to hook up with him, and his response was that, “we’ll see where it goes.” This was absolutely not going to get me to go hang out with him.
Sometimes I wonder, how can some guys be so clueless? First of all, do not ever go for a guy who is self deprecating and puts you in a position where you are guilted into hanging out with him. This is not only a huge turn off but overall extremely manipulative. After this interaction, anywhere I see this guy I feel the need to avoid him. If I’m in line for coffee or doing homework and see him I am immediately sidetracked with a nervousness that he will try and talk to me when I really do not want to talk to him. The worst part of all of this is I didn’t even ask for this. He inserted himself into my life without invitation, and now he is making my life harder and I am the one stuck avoiding eye contact with him.
Sometimes I just want to enjoy coffee alone without worrying that some guy I’m not even interested in will invite himself to talk to me and ultimately be an annoyance.
I have been nice to him even when he has been kind of rude to me, but I don’t know if I feel like doing that anymore. If a guy is rude to you, you can give him the harsh truth. You do not always need to be nice just cause you’re a woman. Snakes don’t bite til someone steps on them.