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CSU Fullerton | Culture

Breaking It Down – Death Wish by Gracie Abrams

Emily Venegas Student Contributor, California State University, Fullerton
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at CSU Fullerton chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

The pop star taking over the world quickly is Gracie Abrams, singer, writer, performer, newly announced actress, and incredible musician. Best known for her top hits “I miss you, I’m sorry”, “I Love You, I’m Sorry”, and the song of the summer “That’s So True” that became absolutely viral and trending during 2025 off of her recent album The Secret of Us. Miss Girl just can’t fail with her beautiful songwriting and instrumental tunes, filled with poetic lyrics and emotional undertones. She is truly knocking it out of the park! 

In the past year, Abrams completed The Secret of Us tour, in which she performed her tracks from the album and some of her other amazing fan favorites! On tour, she additionally performed an unreleased song, which she mentioned she titled “Death Wish” (written by Gracie Abrams and produced by Aaron Dessner). She first debuted the song as a surprise to her fans on March 6th, 2025, at the O2 Theatre in London. The song quickly became beloved, and soon enough was released on April 1st on all streaming platforms. The song is a perfect mashup of all emotions that one experiences after a heartbreak; after you gave your heart to someone you truly believed was going to be there forever, who you cared for very deeply, but sadly had to end. Abrams’ story tells the process that one goes through during the grieving process, in which it feels as if your world is slowly crumbling down, physically feeling that gnawing pain, not being able to get rid of the ghost of the past, leading up to the point where simply being around this ex ghost of yours… surrounding yourself with them… is simply a death wish. Let’s break it down. Better grab those tissues, don’t worry, I’ll wait…

Alright, got your tissues in your hands? Hope so, you’re going to need them, babes!

Verse 1

My love, you love your Time Machine 

Your power trips and diamond rings

The walls you built on teenage dreams 

The well you dug for sinking things 

Your words to kill are evergreen 

So you must not feel anything at all 

But how’d you get so bulletproof? 

You trade your time for inside truths 

Trade your time for any clue

Of what to do or not to do 

Hate to say it’s nothing new

Aside from those few girls you keep around 

The story begins by explaining how the ex is obsessed with wanting to constantly turn back time, to a time when it was beautiful and shiny, when there was hope for some great future. Walls can be building up metaphorically; there can be emotional walls that cause a negative effect emotionally, which can also lead to feeling trapped from the outside. Abrams continues by explaining how the ex, metaphorically, dug a well in order to sink the memories and emotions that the two once had. She explains how the words and conversations that were once shared between both individuals will always last, be fresh, timeless, and never die (be evergreen). The victim tries to understand how the ex could not feel so much pain. The ex would tend to trade their quality time in exchange for understanding the victim’s authentic self, what buttons they can easily push, and the real them.

Chorus 

But how will it end? How long will you give me

‘Til you twist the knife with a smile while you kill me?

And you ask me to dance if there’s someone around 

You don’t look the same when I look at you now

The thought of how long this connection between the two will last, the joy, the laughter, the good times, all begin to linger. How long until the ex slowly kills the other? The ex tends to only show affection when the two are out and about; it’s all for show. The victim begins to realize that the other is no longer the person, the version, they once thought they were.

Verse 2

Well, honey pie, you’re haunting me

I fell for your faux fantasy

You poured the wine, there’s poison in it

Disregard my disposition 

Truth is in the subtle things

Your eggshell floor is splintering now, mm

And it freaks me out I’m old enough

To know you as a gateway drug

You’re everything I’ll never be

You live to look for enemies

I have to bet that’s lonely 

Could leave you with an empty house

The ghost of the ex’s past is following the victim everywhere she turns. It tends to be easy to fall for the lies, and the future they were once told would occur. The ex was the one who started and created this bond and relationship, but it’s all poisonous and might have always even been. The ex tended to ignore the character’s reactions or mood. However, the truth of the ex will always easily show in the simplest ways; their base character is now easily breaking, and the ability to finally see the real them and the reality of the situation you are both in is appearing now. The character is now able to understand that the ex’s presence was/is only leading to more problems and issues, which will ripple a negative pattern and future. Maturity grows through the ending of this verse by realizing that the character should feel somewhat lucky to not be anything like the ex; the ex likes to constantly live their lives to just find issues and problems, which in the long run, will cause them to forever be alone mentally and physically.

Chorus

[Repeat of chorus number 1]

And I used to pretend that it didn’t feel evil

Your light of a million suns burns through people

And bridges and cities ‘til ash covers ground

A breath of your air is a death wish

The character used to pretend that the ex’s actions, how they were in the relationship,  who they were overall, was not bad. The character made excuses for the other by ignoring the red flags. All the pain they caused, the fire and destruction were all being disguised as some positive light, as a beam, but in reality it was a dangerous lit match that slowly became a large fire. Abrams compares the simple presence of the ex as, once again, a death wish, slowly and significantly killing.

And you’re forcing my hand, but I’m a drop in your ocean 

I ruined your plans of some grand self-promotion 

The second you figured that I figured you out

Now you look away when I look at you now 

The ex is forcing the idea that the relationship is true… that it’s strong and real, but this is a lie. They claim you are maybe a priority, but in reality, you are seen as an option. Once the ex discovers you know what is really happening, they begin to turn away and start changing how they are and how they act towards you.

Outro

Oh, look at you now 

Well, look at you

Look at you

The main character finally comes to acceptance. The significant other was never going to change; they are who they are. 

Being in an emotionally abusive relationship can cause a person to feel less than. They realize the power this ex has over their mind and self-worth. It is not an easy grieving process. You end up feeling used and discarded, which no one enjoys feeling. However, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel; you just need to accept the experience, forgive yourself for willingly staying in this hurtful relationship, and continue marching on… knowing your true worth.

Emily Venegas

CSU Fullerton '26

Emily is a Senior studying Communications with an emphasis in Entertainment and Tourism. She is currently in the process of earning her Bachelors degree in Communications. She is an Orange County local, however originally transferred from Bakersfield College in which Emily earned her Associate’s in Liberal Arts and a Communications Certificate.

Emily has been a Disneyland Merchandise Cast Member on Main Street for 2 years now as a Disney Aspire student. She has a deep passion for storytelling and social media creation content, in which she has been able to explore thanks to Disney and her past experiences in the Entertainment social media world. In the Fall of 2025, Emily had the opportunity to act as the role of the Social Media Manager for the Newport Beach Film Festival German Spotlight. She created graphics for the account and interacted with users on social media platforms. Now, Emily is currently withholding the role as the Spring 2026 Graphic Design Intern for the Frida Cinema in Downtown Santa Ana. Lastly, Emily has been the Event Outreach Coordinator for the CSUF Entertainment and Tourism Club since August of 2025, in which she partakes in tabling for events as well as making sure CSUF students are well aware of any new events that club creates! She aspires to be part of the Film Marketing Industry after college.

On her free time, Emily enjoys reading, journaling, writing, singing, collecting records and CDS, listening to music, book shopping, and finding new coffee gems around OC! (Little clue, the secret to her heart is Taylor Swift, Gracie Abrams…and Cold Brew…)