PSA/Disclaimer #1: I am not a therapist or relationship counselor. Everything I say in this article is not to be treated as diagnosing Paul or giving her or Mortensen relationship advice. I am simply speaking on my opinion about the recent allegations and my knowledge of the situation.
PSA/Disclaimer #2: If you believe you are experiencing DV, or a partner has shown signs of abuse/potential abusive patterns, reach out to a certified therapist, call the Domestic Violence hotline at 1 (800)-799-7233, or 911 if you believe your life is in danger. Stay safe.
Will MomTok survive this? That’s the question we’ve all been (jokingly) asking ourselves since season 1 of Hulu’s The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives premiered on September 6, 2024. But, with new domestic violence claims against one of the show’s stars, there’s a chance they might not. Since I started watching a year and a half ago, I have been tuning in to every latest season and new piece of drama. Taylor Frankie Paul has become many people’s favorite from MomTok because of her willingness to take accountability for her actions and how she is authentic and always tells the truth about what happened.
However, being in a toxic relationship (and having children with a toxic partner) can cause victims to react in ways that maybe they shouldn’t. On Feb. 17, 2023, Paul got into a heated argument with her then-partner Dakota Mortensen. Both of them had been drinking, and the argument continued to escalate, to the point where Paul threw multiple metal kitchen stools at Mortensen, not realizing her young daughter was right there, on the couch, watching them. Her daughter, then just 5 years old, got injured, and Paul was arrested for multiple felonies, including aggravated assault, domestic violence in the presence of a child, and child abuse. Still, Season 1 of SLOMW continued airing with Paul as part of the main cast.
Three years later, new allegations are being brought against Paul. On March 19, Paul (who has been on-again off-again with Mortensen ) allegedly tried to choke him with a necklace. Now, her season of the Bachelorette has been canceled, and there are theories circulating that the rest of MomTok is distancing themselves from Paul. Paul also has lost custody of her three children, with the day the allegations came out being her two-year old son’s birthday. There are also theories circulating that Paul’s actions, (though I do not condone violence against a partner or child, and believe what she did was unacceptable), were a result of reactive abuse. What is reactive abuse? Reactive abuse is known by psychologists as a state when a victim of abuse has been in a victim state for such a long period of time, that their mind can’t take what is happening to them anymore and they “snap”, even if it wasn’t their intention.
Mortensen, throughout the seasons, has shown multiple times he is manipulative, has narcissistic tendencies, and is controlling. Two days after the allegations about the necklace choking came out, a video was released on TMZ of the chair incident, and it was believed by many to be Mortensen’s doing, mainly because of how it was timed to the release of the new Bachelorette season on ABC, which was supposed to be aired Sunday of that week. Another reason why it seemed so strategic and calculated is because we had already seen bodycam footage from the 2023 arrest, as S1 E1 ended that way. I wish for her children to continue feeling safe, people to understand both sides of the story, the different forms of abuse tactics that can happen, and for both Paul and Mortensen to get the help they seem to need.