All out of love? Well, this week it’s Love 101 with our certified love expert, Dr. Love, Ph.D. Read what she has to say as she tackles some of your love mishaps and miscalculations…
My college roommate just got a boyfriend and is always with him. They are always in the room making some things awkward and I’m starting to feel out of place and uncomfortable. I’m glad that she’s happy, but I feel like I have no privacy. Dr. Love, what should I do?
Dear Down on her luck Roommate,
Let me start off by saying that I feel for you. Having experienced this myself, I understand the awkward position you are in. During orientation everyone tries to tell you that roommate contracts are the way to go, but you and I both know that’s weird. Because this just started, I would first introduce the issue causally –preface it by saying how happy you are for her and her new man. Then gently make a point that they have been in the room more and it has been a little hard to get some work done, etc. With finals here, you know that you will be studying in the room more and so warnings from her about when they plan to hang there would be helpful. Next, I would send her texts throughout the day, especially if you will be away from the room for a period of time. Something along the lines of this: “Hey, I have class all afternoon and then I am heading to the lib until dinner so the room is all yours, but I will be back for the rest of the night! See you later!
If this doesn’t work then you must take a firm stance, otherwise you will be taken advantage of. People handle conflict differently so either approach it with a conversation or with a handwritten note left on her desk. Remember that you have the right to feel comfortable in your room at all times. Make clear that because she and the boyfriend are in the room, it makes things hard for you. Be specific. Mention you trouble changing or trying to shower in front of him or noises disrupting your sleep. If none of this works, then think about contacting Res Life. Â
I’m in a long distance relationship here at Conn and I’m finding it quite hard to manage. Dr. Love, what do I make it work?
Dear Long Distance Dater,
Many people come into college with significant others from high school, summer camp or jobs, etc. Adjusting to long distance love is difficult, but rewarding if you can make it work. It takes effort on both parts. Here are some tips for making it last.
1.)Â Â Â Thank goodness for unlimited texting. Take advantage of it by sending cute messages throughout the day. When you have some spare time use whatapp to send fun/decriptive messages filled with cute emoticons.
2.)   Don’t make it a competition between schools. Every school offers different experiences so enjoy what Conn has to offer and don’t be jealous about what goes on at your partner’s school.
3.)   Make plans for your next visit together so it is always special and something to look forward to. Try dinner at a new restaurant, a beach trip, wine tasting or cooking a meal together. Make the most of your short periods of time. Don’t let them become boring by just watching the food network because it’s the station you both agree on.
4.)   When fighting, let each person have his or her turn. Fighting in a long distance relationship is tough, but a lot of times each person just needs to release pent up emotions. Let it happen. If you aren’t finding a resolution then agree to take a break and discuss it with a new perspective in a few hours or the following day.
5.)   Facebook knows nothing. So there are some pics of your partner chatting with the opposite sex, for all you know he was thinking of you the entire time that conversation occurred. Don’t read into things too much. If you are concerned about something you see then ask, but don’t accuse and have a respectful conversation about it.
Until next time, you know you love me. XoXo, Dr. Love, Ph.d