November: Since You Asked...

Do you have a question in mind but are too shy to ask? Do you need an outside perspective on a topic or situation? This semester, Her Campus at Concordia is introducing a new feature: an advice column. The advice column is a non-judgmental space where our contributors will answer, to the best of their ability, readers’s questions about different topics. You can submit a question to [email protected]

 

Q: I have been in my program for two semesters, and after having to take some of my core classes, I am having a doubt that this is what I would like to do for the rest of my life. How to find the right career path?

A: This is a question that I do not have a clear answer for. There are some who, when asked when they were a child what they wanted to be when they grew up, the answer was simple and has maybe adjusted but really haven’t changed. Take me for example, when asked, I always replied that I wanted to work with books. Later it changed to wanting to enter the publishing field but after reading more into what a publisher actually does, I lost the passion I had for books. I actually fit better within the world of editing. But there are some that have no idea which is the best path for them, and that is perfectly okay! 

A good starting step is to take a minute to self-reflect and figure out what things in your life bring passion and joy and see if there is a way to make that a career. I mean there is that great saying “do what you love and you will never work a day in your life”. Research would be the best second step. Is there already a field of work that you are interested in? What exactly is that job? How is the best way to reach that goal? Is there anyone in that field that you can reach out to, to learn more?

As a student at Concordia, I am lucky enough to attend a school that offers workshops and counselling about my future and possible career options. No matter what you choose to do for the right career path, the most important thing is that you are happy and fulfilled in what you do even if the road seems long and hard. 

 

Q: My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for 5 years now, but I have found myself making up excuses to not see him, dreading his calls and texts and just rethinking the relationship. How do I end with a nice guy relationship?

A: Ending a relationship, especially if there isn’t a very obvious reason to end the relation such as mistrust and abuse can be very difficult. It can also be even more difficult depending on how long you were in the relationship. From what I have observed from friends and others is that the longer you are in a relationship the more comfortable and co-dependant you become on the other person. This is great if you are happy and fulfilled in the relationship but the moment you have the realization that you aren’t, the idea of ending your comfortable relationship can seem like the most daunting task that you might ever have to face. Not only are you concerned with the idea of dating again, especially if you have been out of the game for a long time, the idea of the apps freak you out!

But there is also the sad idea that you will have to hurt someone you love but may not be in love with anymore. Even though these concepts may scare you, if you are really committed to ending your relationship and you are aware that no matter the conversation you have or the time working together to maybe fix the problem at hand won’t save the relationship then it is time to have a very difficult conversation with your partner.  

The first step would be to first have a conversation with yourself as to why you would like to end your relationship. As stated before, if it isn’t an obvious reason then some soul searching might need to be involved. Whenever a friend asked my opinion about whether they should end their relationship, I always respond with, “are you miserable? Is this a problem you aren’t able to fix with open conversation?” I also stated that at the end of the day, no matter who you asked, either friends or family the decision is yours to make alone and you should make sure that it is a decision that you totally agree with. While it may hurt at the beginning you won’t regret it later in life. After making the decision, you must do the break up in person - any other way is a coward. You claim to have loved them, so have the decency to end it to their face and be able to talk about it. There might be yelling and crying and even pleading but you must be confident that this is what is best for you.