Blinded By Love: An Experience That Doesn’t Define You

All of a sudden, you’ll have an epiphany. All those tears you cried and those heartbreaks will feel like a past experience that is so far away, it’s almost like a story that never actually happened.

Many of us can relate to each other when we say that we’ve liked or loved someone so much, even when they didn’t reciprocate those feelings. You know, when you would do anything for them, but they wouldn’t for you. Sound familiar?

This isn’t only for relationships—this could be friendships and even between you and family members. Ultimately, it can happen to anyone.

I’ve often wondered if there was a way to prevent this from happening, or a way I could warn myself that the person I associate myself with is toxic and dangerous for my well-being. However,  the only way I learned, was by experiencing.

Blinded by love doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in love. It could be your genuine love for someone, your caring for them. So think of that one person that you care about so much and would do anything for.

Some of us are lucky from the start. We meet someone and love them, and they love us back just as much. Some aren’t so lucky.

I am sure we can all relate when I say that we’ve experienced caring for someone so much that we drop everything else in our lives just to care for them. We worry about what they’ll think, how they’ll feel, and we worry about whether or not our actions will piss them off. All the while, we see nothing wrong with their power over us.

People will stop you and they’ll tell you the way this person is treating you is wrong. But you won’t see it. Sometimes you’ll even defend them.

People will have concrete proof as to why this person is toxic for you, but again, you won’t see anything wrong with it. You’ll even get pissed off that they’re telling you these things.

This whole time, you’re sitting there defending someone who is bad for you, and arguing with the people who are good for you. Bless those who kept fighting,  just to get us out.

One day, it’ll all just snap into place. You will have realizations that put everything in the right perspective, but it’s the recovery that can hurt the most.

Now you spend time trying to figure out how you lost the person you used to be. People will define you by the actions you took when you were blinded and they will judge you for them. This can easily become your reputation, so you start to rebuild friendships and relationships that were lost along the way. You begin to spend time on things you used to enjoy like music and theatre and having conversations where you’re actually able to have an opinion.

To this day, you might have a reputation for what happened because some people don’t know how to understand the concept of self-growth and strength, but what we need to worry about is those who do understand it.

You’ll begin a new chapter in your life where no one will know your past, and you can either hide it from them or share it with them. And one thing I’ve learned is that when you share it with the right people, you are so appreciated for your strength and honesty. I’ve been able to make the honest and most loyal friendships I have today this way.

So don’t let an experience define you. Embrace it and let your heart learn. Allow your experiences both good and bad to help shape you into the person you are today. Don’t let it define you.