The Oxford Dictionary defines a best friend as “a person’s closest friend.” Now, if the reality of having a lifelong companion, a true best friend was as simple as this definition suggests it to be, I wouldn’t be writing this article. Unfortunately, here I am attempting to distinguish the good and bad of maintaining such a friendship, and debating whether or not it’s all worth it. Bear with me as I try to sift through this dilemma.
In my mind, and in the minds of most of my family members and close friends, a best friend is a soulmate. It’s someone you rely on completely, without ever having to doubt or question their presence, support, or love for you. It’s someone who has your best interest at heart, and would avoid any instance of causing you pain. It means that your friendship with this person is real, is genuine and is heartbreaking to give up, or think about giving up.
It doesn’t really matter who this person is – it can be someone you’ve known since childhood, someone you met a year ago, a sibling, or your favorite cousin. The point is, your relationship with this person means the world to you, and you would drop anything, say anything, and do anything to help this person when they’re hurting. Because as hard as it may be to acknowledge or confess, when they hurt, you hurt.
It may take a disagreement, fight, or misfortune to realize how deeply your connection with this person is rooted. When you’re in the midst of an immature argument, it’s easy (or at least, should be) to resolve the problem and get over whatever pride both of you were so childishly hanging on to. But when the problem is a serious one – and keep in mind, it only takes one person to categorize the problem as a serious one – it’s not so easy to let go and forgive.
When they hurt you, and I mean really hurt you, it changes things. It forces you to see them in a different light, a light that isn’t so flattering. There is no real-life filter – you can’t hide your pain and forget who made you feel it in the first place. Sometimes, you have to face the fact that your friendship with this person and how much you care about this person, makes you vulnerable, makes you fragile.
For some, this may seem like a drawback, as though your friendship with this person possesses the ability to weaken you or cause your heart to break, which is an experience each of us can do without. The worst part about it is that this person might have hurt you, but every fiber in your being is quietly, but strongly demanding that you fix things because you deserve each other. It doesn’t always work out though, and that really, truly, honestly sucks.
For this reason, and a ton of others, a best friend may seem like the worst thing to have but surprise, surprise, it’s not. Sure, they have the tendency to hit you right in the feels more often than not, but they’re special, their friendship is special. If the relationship is salvageable, and you inherently believe it’s worth saving, then do whatever you can to do exactly that. Because at one point, you’ll think about the ‘what ifs’, and that sheer wonder and regret means it’s too late, you’re too late. Don’t let go of someone who isn’t meant to be let go of.