Dating for Me is Hard

There, I said it. It sometimes feels like these days, there’s an expectation for you to kind of have an idea about these things and by college, there’s this idea that part of the experience is that you’re in a relationship or are going on a bunch of dates - things along those lines. Yet, here I am, still single as a pringle and barely any experience under my belt.

I decided to join a dating app recently and I feel like I’ve stepped into a whole other world. It’s weird how much information some apps ask you for and the kind of information that people give on their dating profiles. The way in which they reply to comments that are made, the kinds of things that they want you to know, the photos that they decide to post - all of it is very revealing of a person and their character that you feel like you know everything you need to about them without ever having to truly speak to them. For example, I posted that I am a regular at Starbucks on this dating app that I joined and I had someone respond to me saying that I wasn’t worthy of Starbucks. This guy definitely didn’t know me, and maybe I took it out of a context that was supposed to be funny, but I definitely didn’t receive it that way and it just rubbed me the wrong way. 

Courtesy of The Verge

It took me so long to join online dating because I consider myself to be old fashioned. I’ve said for the longest time that I want to have a typical “meet-cute” or a “boy-meets-girl” kind of situation. I’ve heard before that it doesn’t happen like it does in the movies or I need to be realistic and have realistic expectations but I kind of don’t buy that stuff. I was having a conversation with my girlfriends on wether I should join apps or not and when I asked if it was unrealistic of me, my friend said, “No it just takes more time.” Having her say that made me feel really good that someone was on the same wavelength as me and that I can have what it is that I want at this point in life.

I put a lot of pressure on myself when it comes to dating and relationships and being “modern” or “trendy” in my love life when I really don’t need to. My friend said that I can always try these apps out and then if I don’t like my experience just delete them - and that idea shockingly never crossed my mind. I almost looked at it as a commitment or as a chore when really it’s only for my benefit and to make me happy, so I have to march to the beat of my own drum.

Dating in college is a journey. It’s filled with all different kinds of people, all different kinds of experiences and all different kinds of lessons. We’re not all going to go at the exact same pace and we’re all going to be at different places in our lives on a bigger scale than just age or grade. Nobody is going to have an easy time and we are going to make mistakes or be heartbroken. But the thing that you can takeaway is that you are in charge of what you want to do with your own love life. We live the way that we want to and we love those that we want to love and how we meet them or the other people that we date is going to be the way that we want it to be.

So let your heart run wild, make judgement calls that are best for you and know that you are not alone on this crazy ride.