1. A city of nearly 3 million people inhabits its fair share of odorsIt’s no longer “wake up and smell the roses”. It’s more like “wake up and have your nose harassed by the smell of urine on the red line”.
2. Public transportation options are plentiful, but ride share services are convenientSure, the UPASS is free, but dad’s credit card is hooked up to your Uber account so…
3. Your art school education is pretty much meaninglessAll of your friends at state schools spend their Saturday’s tailgating before the big game. You spend your Saturday’s hoping Applebee’s is looking to hire a Columbia graduate with a degree in “The History of Painting: 1734-1736”
4. You pay taxes on absolutely everything The city found a way to tax music streaming services like Spotify via the “amusement tax”. Next on the list of taxations? Footsteps per mile, amount of mustard applied per hot dog and children. Yes. The mere existence of a child.5. One word: snowSure, that first snowfall looks pretty from the comfort of your heated apartment, but sliding on ice to your 9 AM through the arctic tundra won’t be quite as enjoyable.
6. You’re asked for money from the homeless more than five times a dayIt’s like, bro, you’ve got more money in that Dunkin Donuts cup than I have in my checking account. I ate rolled up pieces of ham for dinner.
7. Everything is expensive. Like really, really expensive. The McDonald’s dollar menu has a minimum price of $3.65. Want a large vanilla latte from a coffee shop in River North? Sell your scooter, sublet your apartment and hit up the homeless man with the Dunkin cup for a loan.
But, despite it all, you know that you wouldn’t want to spend your college days anywhere else because Chicago is truly the best city in the world.