In November, I once again faced the choice many other students at Barnard, Columbia, and other universities around the country had to make: whether or not to return to campus during the COVID-19 pandemic. In my case, since I am just a first year, I also had to decide if I should go on campus for the first time for the spring semester. I had a pretty good idea of what Zoom University was like since I did it my entire fall semester — also my first semester of college ever. Did I like it? Not exactly. Did I hate it? Again, not exactly. But this decision about school ironically wasn’t really just about school for me. Here are some reasons why I chose to stay home for the semester again.
- Just a Feeling
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If you have read much of my work before, you know that my religion is very important to me. I trust in God with everything I do, while also doing my part by getting advice from others and taking action on my own. I consult in God through prayer and supplications. The more I thought about moving to New York City during the pandemic for the spring semester, the more uneasy and uncomfortable it made me feel. In essence, God had already planned for me to stay at home and He is truly the best of planners.
- Family
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Many of my relationships have changed throughout the pandemic, and it is my relationship with my family members that I have realized I value the most. I’ve endured different types of challenges with them. I’ve leaned on them for support in new ways. I’ve needed them to be here with me, and I think they need me in different ways too. It has always just been us and them, even before we were quarantining together. My family left behind all of their close friends and family when they immigrated to America. And we’ve never left each other.
- Trusting Strangers
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Living in NYC without a worldwide pandemic going on is scary enough. However, now, scary has entered a whole new level. This virus has harmed and killed many. It is a really huge step for me to live with strangers, and even more so to trust them to be responsible enough and take the necessary precautions against this virus. This goes both ways — I certainly would not want to put someone else at risk because of the way I do things. As much as it would be exciting to meet new people and make new friends, making sure we are safe and healthy is most important.
- Mental Health Matters
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These terms like social distancing, social isolation, and quarantine all have negative connotations, and they all lead to or relate to the state of being alone. And while there are moments I appreciate keeping to myself, I definitely struggle being alone. Community is really valuable to me. Pre-COVID times, I found communities at my school with my friends and in clubs. I identified with my Muslim community at the Masjid and the Bengali community with friends of my parents. Now, my main community is my family. Therefore, something that deterred me from going to campus was having to quarantine in my room. I was very used to taking walks around my neighborhood during the winter months and going to local parks over the warmer months (safely, of course). Taking walks and hiking in nature allowed me to stay physically active, it was also mentally uplifting. I reflected on the beauties and wonders of nature and this vast planet.
- Something More to Life
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I feel like for most of us life goes like this: do well in high school, get into a good college, get a good job, get married, and work to pay the bills. But this year has caused a lot of us to think — when something so unexpected changes everything we thought about, what is safe…how can we be so rash to say we can plan our futures down to every detail? I’ve thought about how my college education is more than just getting a degree so I can survive adulthood. It is part of something bigger than that, bigger than myself. With every action I take, I connect with my faith and my worship. Seeking knowledge too is an act of worship. And every act of worship must bring me closer to my true purpose, because there is something much more to the fleeting days of our lives.
So I’ve decided to attend Zoom University once again this semester. The decision was not an easy one, but the decision was not just about me. And as is, it is a blessing I have all these people and values to keep in mind. Now, Zoom University does have its challenges, but for that I have found tips by Muslimah Podcast essential to my online school routine.
I know there will be new challenges this semester — there will be days of Zoom fatigue and feeling stir crazy. There will also be days of a lot of laughter with new friends on Facetime and a lot of love from my family. I will tackle both of these times with patience and gratitude.