February gets a bad rap. It’s cold (okay, really cold), it’s the start of an endless stream of midterms, and everywhere you look its JP Morgan this…Career Fair that…business attire this…”work on your interview skills” that. Those are the sweet words that let you know, that whether you like it or not, its time to start applying to summer internships.
I put on my best pencil skirt, print out my resume, and brace myself for what really seems like a “fifth” season somewhere in between winter and spring. And then it hits.
“What if I don’t get the right internship?” “She has more experience than me!” “This is so competitive and I don’t have the right qualifications!” “I have no clue what to do with my life.” “I can’t work somewhere that doesn’t have casual Fridays!” “Can’t I just stay in college and go to Mel’s for a living??”
Somehow in a room full of my well-dressed and well-groomed peers, it was hard for me not to feel inadequate, stressed out, or completely frustrated by this process. I seem to give up my sense of peace to that one job that I really want, or to that girl in my class that’s also applying for that same position and obviously makes a better first impression than I do.
As I walked around rows of tables with employers who have shaken more hands than minutes I’ve spent watching Girls and Mad Men, I realized that although I may be in a crazed environment, I don’t have to go crazy! I have a choice to go about this process differently than I have in the past, and actually keep my self-esteem and happiness in the process. Oh yeah, and maybe an employer prefers someone cool, calm, and collected rather than frenzied. I considered that option too.
So how does one make that happen?
1. Zoom Out Effect
I know this feels like the most important thing you’ve ever applied for in your life. Remember you felt like that when you applied to college? And you’ll feel like that many many more times. This is just one of those many moments. How important will this one summer be 5 years from now. Zoom out and get a better perspective on the situation. Realize that its so upsetting because you’re in it and your vision is clouded, not because it’s the worst thing in the world.
2. Consider the possibility that you can’t go wrong!
What’s the worst that can happen? You get an internship you’re not crazy about? What a gift! Now you know what you don’t like. You can always learn from any experience—it just may be learning what doesn’t work for you.
3. Don’t take it personally
You didn’t get the internship you wanted? It wasn’t meant to be. Remember, you want someone who wants you. We all know that when we want to date someone who doesn’t want to date us, even if we end up dating them, we never feel true reciprocity. If you deeply loved yourself, would you want to work somewhere that doesn’t want you to work for them? Realize that it’s not that you didn’t get the internship that’s the problem. What is causing you suffering are the thoughts: “I should have gotten that internship” “Why wasn’t I good enough for that job?” “What did I do wrong?” Your Real job is to think thoughts about yourself that are more friendly and more accepting of what is. Also, if this door closes, maybe its because there is another door, right around the corner, that needs a chance to open. Let it go and keep your eyes open.
4. One moment at a time
So much for the maxim “be present”, when we’re in January and everyone is thinking about June. But still, don’t throw away your peace of mind today for something 4 months down the line. You’ll regret not enjoying your spring semester more than you’ll regret working at Citi Bank instead of Goldman Sachs.
5. Remember, you’re a human BEing not a human DOing
Who you are is more important than what you do. Work on being the person you want to be and the job will come from that. Your worth as a person is independent of how much you do or how prestigious your employer is. Your worth comes from how much love is in your heart, and how you approach the daily art of living.