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What Which Jonas Brother You Liked Means Now

It was 2009, you were re-watching Camp Rock for the fifth time, you loved each of the Jonas Brothers, but there was one in particular whose Bop magazine photoshoot adorned your walls. But did you know that the man whose picture decorated your room would actually predict who you would become in 2019?


Read below for my totally unbiased opinion on what each of your favorite brothers means for you today.


If it was Kevin…

You’ve definitely been in a relationship since the Jonas Brothers split up. Also, how was Kevin your favorite, and did he actually have any posters? I can’t find any. You’re probably the oldest child too because I can’t think of any other reason to like this bland brother.


If it was Nick…

Honestly, you are probably boring. Okay not really, but Nick, come on, there’s nothing there. Like yes, I get it, his eyes are dreamy, but I definitely was not angry when he announced his marriage to Priyanka.


If it was Joe…

You’re queer. I mean look at his hair, how didn’t we know? He is so pretty. But seriously, wow, he’s the best. Even though someone says in Lovebug that he isn’t a girl, he basically is.


Thank you for your time. Now you know more about yourself.

Jordan Panzier

Columbia Barnard '22

Jordan is from the suburbs of NYC but likes to say that she is a native "new yorker." She is planning on majoring in computer science and/or political science. When she's not writing, she can be found watching comedy on Netflix, getting angry about politics, or staring at random dogs on the street.
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