As college students in New York City, many of our social interactions occur in the wee hours of the morning…off-campus…while intoxicated. At the time we may genuinely believe that the people we meet during these weekend adventures will become our new best friends. But in reality, these circumstances do not provide the best backdrop for harvesting new friendships. While we might instantly connect, joke, flirt, eat Koronets, dance, maybe make out a little, and even pee in a Mel’s stall together (it’s a girl thing), seeing these people on campus, completely sober in the daylight can be quite awkward.
I recently spent a sunny September afternoon relaxing and people watching (uh, I mean studying) on Columbia’s low steps. While basking in the sun attempting to cure my totally random Sunday-morning headache that had absolutely nothing to do with my illicit activities the previous night, I saw a zealous young woman waving to the guy sitting next to me. I registered the confusion on his face as she approached, and desperately wanted to shout at her to warn her of the humiliation she was about to endure. However, all I could do was remain seated and pretend not to eavesdrop on the encounter. She happily bounced up to the guy and bellowed “Hey! Its Peter, right? Good times last night!” I cringed. Of course, Peter (his name is not really Peter) looked at the girl and said “Uh, hey. We met last night?” Classic! Through disenchanted eyes, the girl pathetically said, “We met at Mel’s. Remember we took shots together and you told me all about your History major and your weird roommate?!” I know what you’re thinking: Oh my god this girl needs to stop talking right now. Just walk away woman. When the girl finally realized that her cheerful greeting was the wrong call, she quickly mumbled that she had to go before bolting back down the steps and across College Walk.
This is an example of what NOT to do when faced with this dilemma, though I do understand where this girl was coming from. It seems like every Wednesday and Saturday night, I (completely soberly) meet some super cool, new best friend. Later, when I am back home and the excitement of the weekend slowly fades away, I accept that I’ll probably never see this person again. Then, every Monday morning I encounter this supposed BFF on campus.
For example, suppose I’m walking through Butler on a Monday evening and run into a guy I met at Cannons the previous Thursday night. On Thursday, this guy seemed pretty cool. We had a delightful (and belligerent) conversation and agreed to be the best of friends for the rest of our lives. Now, two days later, I see the guy at Butler and am about to walk by him. We make eye contact. Suddenly, I realize that I don’t know this person at all, that this person might not remember me or anything about his weekend, and that I have to decide what to do right now because he’s walking this way! Here are my options: 1. I can offer a friendly “Hi!” and pray that he doesn’t look at me as if I’m a psychopath, 2. I can continue walking without a word and risk looking like a jerk, 3. I can throw him a casual half-smile. The latter is my method of choice. The way I see it, a half-smile could be interpreted in many ways. It could be a flirty, mysterious form of communication. It could be a friendly acknowledgement that works on all fellow peers. Or, most likely in my case, it could simply come off as a weird and unfortunate neutral facial expression. Hence, the person receiving the half-smile can interpret the look in any way he chooses. The burden of a response is conveniently placed on him. Whatever you decide to do the next time you face this situation, just remember the cautionary tale of Peter’s girl. Never go with her overly direct method, or else you will have to deal with the dreadful, yet deserved experience of walking away thinking: That was awkward